Stratos66: WHY I AM IN LOVE WITH THE MODEL "B.E.E.R." - 4/19/09 - Female Performer Chat

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WHY I AM IN LOVE WITH THE MODEL "B.E.E.R."

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Female Performer Chat: WHY I AM IN LOVE WITH THE MODEL "B.E.E.R."

Created by: Robyn Ross

7/5/09 @ 1:43am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Model B.E.E.R. one whom I can only hope to emulate! :drinkup

Although the odd giant pint glass with head of foam costume was odd, but someone seemed to drink it up!

{LISA}
Okay, I'll give it the old college try, even though I'm in sixth grade--
but with a soupcon of sax-o-phone sass if you please, Miss Julie!

[sung]
D'oh, oh dear, oh dear oh dear!
Ray, a tangent vector sum!
Me, my ego driven self
Fa, a Farvenugen pun
So, what's happnin' in that head?
La, preceeds the 'Ti-Da', bro
'T', he's blinged with mohawked head
That Bejing's Iraq's new beau! Oh! Oh! Oh!

{JULIE}
Well, um, er, a skosh unconventional, Lisa, but I think you've got the hang of it
Would you like to give it a go Bart?

{BART}
Yeah, right Try this one on for size Harry Poppins

[sung]
Dough, its clear, it buys Duff beer
Ray, the Death Star's biggest gun
ME, a lame Win-dows� OS
Fa-, a 'half-a-curse' from bums
"So", "What-evah" word instead
La, one-half of "La-La", ho!
T- HC makes me eat bread
That will bring a whack from D'Oh! Yo! Blow! Joe!

{JULIE}
Whoooa! Big boy precocious aren't we?
Well, Homer Do you think, perhaps, you might show the youngsters why your age cohorts deserve the sobriquet "greatest generation"?
I'm counting on you!
Remember, my job depends on the quality of your work!

{HOMER}
Sober Kat? Lady, I haven't been sober in years, right Marge? Oh alright! Here goes:

[sung]
D'oh, my beer!, What? Bart come here!
Ray, my plant-mate drinkin' chum
Mi, a Farrow�Woody dumped
Fa--, the gas from just one bun
Sew, all Marge will do in bed
LA, where whackos tend to go
Tea, 'Long Island' born and bred
Jerry Springs us back to D'oh! Oh! No! No!

{JULIE}
Ifeel faint

{HOMER}
Alright kids, all together now!

[ ALL SIMPSONS (singing in perfect 3 part harmony) ]
Doe, Jule's deers, got lyme tick rears!
Ray, her half-wit moochin' son!
Me, a Shrek voice in some toon!
Fa, for "My Fa Lady" shun!
So, Miss Pop-pins is now dead!
La, a note you now can't blow!
T for hanging by a Thread!
Now you're on the Simpson Show!
D'Oh! Ray! Me! Fa! Sew! La! Tea! D'Oh!
Tea! D'Oh!

{sound of self-inflicted gunshot followed by sussurations of slender female body slumping to floor}

{BART}
"I didn't do anything nobody saw me do it can't prove anything!"

{HOMER}
"I have dibs on the umbrella!"

{LISA}
"Heard she was just doing porn now, anyway"

Quote

Created by: old_rocker

8/3/09 @ 2:23pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Sometimes when I reflect back on all the beer I drink I feel ashamed. Then I look into the glass and think about the workers in the brewery and all
of their hopes and dreams. If I didn't drink this beer, they might be out of work and their dreams would be shattered. Then I say to myself, "It is
better that I drink this beer and let their dreams come true than be selfish and worry about my liver."

:drinkup

Quote

Created by: old_rocker

8/3/09 @ 2:25pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel all day.

Always do sober what you said you'd do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.

:drinkup

Time is never wasted when you're wasted all the time.

:drinkup

A woman drove me to drink and I didn't even have the decency to thank her.

Quote

Created by: d9itl8r

8/3/09 @ 2:32pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Practicing my Lotto 6/49 Happy Dance !
Posts: 3,143

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.....

Fuck you make me want to start drinking BEER again !!! :orglaugh

Quote

Created by: suggs

8/3/09 @ 2:33pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Left of centre
Posts: 6,768

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All hail the Ale !!

:drinkup

Quote

Created by: g-mann

8/18/09 @ 12:57am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Teddy's BBQ Place in Hello Kitty Land on Route 66
Posts: 9,786

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Because she is BEER, duh :orglaugh

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Created by: Honey Brown

8/20/09 @ 8:00pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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did you know that honey brown is an lager? Just for all you curious people!

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Created by: old_rocker

12/14/09 @ 9:23am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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psychostick
beer

I like beer because it is good
I drink beer because I should
If there was a song to sing
I sing it and beer you bring

I drink beer when I am sad
Cuz the beer it makes me glad
There is nothing left to say
So let's go drink beeer.

BEER IS GOOD
BEER IS GOOD
BEER IS GOODWhen it's warm it tasts real crappy
But cold beer will make me happy
When I throw up on the floor
I can go and drink some more

They say beer will make me dumb
It are go good with pizza
Now that we have drunk some beer
Let's go drive a car.

I am drunk, drunk is me.
I am drunk... WHEEEEE!

...AND STUFF

BEER IS GOOD
BEER IS GOOD
BEER IS GOOD
Let's go drink some...
:drinkup

Quote

Created by: old_rocker

1/14/10 @ 12:41pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Without question, the greatest invention in the history of mankind is beer. Oh, I grant you that the wheel was also a fine invention, but the wheel does not go nearly as well with pizza.

Remember: "I" before "E," except in Budweiser.

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.

wait i like that one ill repeat it

A woman drove me to drink and I never even had the courtesy to thank her.

When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading

My grandmother is over eighty and still doesn't need glasses. Drinks right out of the bottle

Life's a waste of time, time's a waste of life so let's all get wasted and have the time of our life.

How come if alcohol kills millions of brain cells, it never killed the ones that made me want to drink?

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy.

Quote

Created by: d9itl8r

1/14/10 @ 6:00pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Practicing my Lotto 6/49 Happy Dance !
Posts: 3,143

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And Rocker to your point I must say that GOD is one Helluva "BARTENDER!"

He listens to us good and bad cause it is part of his profession!

As much as we donate he loves to serve us!

He throws us a "Freebie" every now and then.

He forgives us because sometimes we become under the influence :drinkup

And when it's all said and done, He knows when we've had to much and "Cuts" us off !!! :orglaugh

Cheers

Quote

Created by: old_rocker

1/15/10 @ 10:28pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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well he did not always cut me off in time

but i do remember him giving me a nice hard cold bed to sleep on and some powder eggs in the morning ,or was that a stale bologna sandwhich

:orglaugh

Quote

Created by: old_rocker

1/16/10 @ 12:58pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Top 10 Reasons Why Beer Is Better

10. No one will kill you for not drinking Beer.

9. Beer doesn't tell you how to have sex.

8. Beer has never caused a major war.

7. They don't force Beer on minors who can't think for themselves.

6. When you have a Beer, you don't knock on people's doors trying to give it away.

5. Nobody's ever been burned at the stake, hanged, or tortured over his brand of Beer.

4. You don't have to wait 2000+ years for a second Beer.

3. There are laws saying Beer labels can't lie to you.

2. You can prove you have a Beer.

1. If you've devoted your life to Beer, there are groups to help you stop

Quote

Created by: g-mann

6/21/10 @ 3:15am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Teddy's BBQ Place in Hello Kitty Land on Route 66
Posts: 9,786

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BEER TROUBLESHOOTING
SYMPTOM: Beer unusually pale and tasteless.
FAULT: Glass empty.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Feet cold and wet.
FAULT: Glass being held at incorrect angle.
ACTION: Rotate glass so that open end points toward ceiling.

SYMPTOM: Feet warm and wet.
FAULT: Improper bladder control.
ACTION: Stand next to nearest dog, complain about house training.

SYMPTOM: Beer tasteless, front of your shirt is wet.
FAULT: Mouth not open, or glass applied to wrong part of face.
ACTION: Retire to restroom, practice in mirror.

SYMPTOM: Your singing sounds distorted.
FAULT: The beer is too weak.
ACTION: Have more beer until your voice improves.

SYMPTOM: Opposite wall covered with fluorescent lights.
FAULT: You have fallen over backward.
ACTION: Have yourself leashed to bar.

SYMPTOM: Mouth contains cigarette butts.
FAULT: You have fallen forward.
ACTION: See above.

SYMPTOM: Floor blurred.
FAULT: You are looking through bottom of empty glass.
ACTION: Get someone to buy you another beer.

SYMPTOM: Everyone looks up to you and smiles.
FAULT: You are dancing on the table.
ACTION: Fall on somebody cushy-looking.

SYMPTOM: Don't remember the words to the song.
FAULT: Beer is just right.
ACTION: Play air guitar.

SYMPTOM: Beer is crystal-clear.
FAULT: It's water. Somebody is trying to sober you up.
ACTION: Punch him.

SYMPTOM: Hands hurt, nose hurts, mind unusually clear.
FAULT: You have been in a fight.
ACTION: Apologize to everyone you see, just in case it was them.

SYMPTOM: Don't recognize anyone, don't recognize the room you're in.
FAULT: You've wandered into the wrong party.
ACTION: See if they have free beer.

SYMPTOM: Room seems unusually dark.
FAULT: Bar has closed.
ACTION: Confirm home address with bartender.

SYMPTOM: Floor moving.
FAULT: You are being carried out.
ACTION: Find out if you are being taken to another bar.

SYMPTOM: Taxi suddenly takes on colorful aspect and textures.
FAULT: Beer consumption has exceeded personal limitations.
ACTION: Cover mouth.

:drinkup

Quote

Created by: suggs

6/21/10 @ 4:20am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Left of centre
Posts: 6,768

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My love for B.E.E.R has gone flat.

I now have a new sweetheart C.I.D.E.R :drinkup

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Created by: latenightr

6/21/10 @ 5:20am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: middle of cornfield in iowa
Posts: 122

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BEER- The cause of and temporary solution to most of life's problems :drinkup

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Created by: hfactor_

6/26/10 @ 1:49pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Hanging with the Princess
Posts: 1,102

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Is always wet :drinkup

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Created by: lickau

7/2/10 @ 1:16pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285

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Created by: cthulu

7/2/10 @ 2:31pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Posts: 69

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I like my beer like I like my women: frigid and bitter!

I like my beer like I like my women: blonde and flat!

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