Men, jesus h. freud, when will they learn that we just are sick to death of them talking about themselves as though they are heros in their own farging movies? WHY NOT JUST LISTEN TO A WOMAN SOME TIME?
Eh? What's that. (squeak squeak) Something's tickling the ears.
Oh well.
Foooooooouuuuuuurrrrrr scooooooooooorrrre and a furlong ago, or was it a fathom? I decided to go on my first anabasis... towards Cairo. Towards it I say. That's why it's called an anabasis. I had foooooooooooorty men. But the Sioux nation was long gone and behind us. So I made for the Janissaries... yes the Janissaries.
Forsythe and myself found ourselves surrounded on all sides. On all sides I say! Not fifteen minutes after deboating. It was a vicious affair. Blood flooded the streets.
But we endeavored to persevere and were rewarded with sweet victory. Though our luggage was lost we took the port. We annexed it for the motherland. It is a pretty good writeoff but not a great income producer.
Camels then. Just camels. One for each man. We had joined to forget. And we did. Difficult as it was.
Fort ShiHiLaLaLaCroixBoef was our next objective. Guarded by waves and waves of black garbed devils. We took out our Exacto blades... we wanted these monsters to suffer for their hideous crimes. Like the great statue carvers we removed what was not a part of the art. Our creation took form and then flight. But our army took the fort.
Fort ShiHiLaLaLaCroixBoef... it sticks in our throats for eternity. So many good men fell... So much sand was changed forever red... So many atrocities were committed and prevented. It was the battle of the millenia.
The leader of the silky provendered assassins fell after taking 181 Exacto cuts. We had nearly lost all of our blades. We were saved by a charge into the left flank by Harriman's armored horse division. His lances skewered already pricked foe. None could resist. All took flight as fast as their bare feet could skip over the hot hot hot sand.
But Harridan fell (hoisted 's petard). What a price to pay for this steaming vetch of preglazed real estate. Cairo seemed so far away.
So we decided to do a flanking movement through the Empty Quarter.
Day after day. Man after man falling off his camel screaming. Camel after camel spontaneously combusting from the heat... from the relentless rays of the cruel sun... from the continual sandpapering by the large grained forbidden sand...
We were iron... We were steel... Our ears only burned brighter as the rheum flowed and evaporated. As the water sublimated from our heaving bodies. As the camels groaned their death songs. Red skinned. Teeth gleaming through our death visages. We made on and on for the rear of our hated enemy.
*********** tune in next week for : Death's Camel Died so He is Walking Toward You Very Fast ***
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