what would you need to have during a post apocalyptic time Quote

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1. A rickety three-wheeled shopping wagon that pulls to the left, with alternating wheels that drag, filled with dozens of boxes of Fruit Brute cereal.

2. A worn and faded 'Team Jacob' tee - long after teenage girls and twenty-somethings have long forgotten and/or disowned anything to do with the Twilight franchise, an old and half coherent hermit along the way can stop, notice my shirt while sizing me up and mumble, 'Fucking pansy.'

3. A wholesale shopping club sized bag of buttery popcorn flavored Jelly Belly jelly beans, which we all know will be the preferred currency of choice in any proper post-apocalyptic world.

4. A chrome deluxe As-Seen-On-TV Ron Popeil 'Set it and Forget it!' Showtime Rotisserie, with a faded sticker on the top that reads, 'But wait, there's more!'.

5. Any real future-world surviver of the pockey-klipse needs some protective gear, so an off-white and battered set of hockey knee pads and a shoulder pad, the right one, so that I look thoroughly the part while pushing my shopping wagon. Either that or assless chaps and a well-cared after 19 year old sex slave on a chain, but I'm not balls-out enough to roll with that group - so hockey pads it is.

6. A well-worn last-edition copy, tattered and torn, of 'The Quotable Rheza: Quips, Musings and Lines for Everyday situations from Handling Assholes on Forums to Setting Up a Quasi-Professional Gerbil Fighting League', which has to be our Bible in any decent future that I would want to struggle to survive in.

7. An 8x11 glossy black and white photo of Pat Harrington in his role as Schneider from the 70s American comedy 'One Day at a Time'. You know that's going to be worth its weight in gold, or Jelly Belly jelly beans anyway..

8. A midget that can be carried about in a harness/backpack who plays a hand-cranked phonograph, my entrance music for any dire or troublesome situation, playing the 80s synth sound of the only surviving LP known to man: the main title theme to John Carpenter's 'Escape from New York' along with the low bass beat and woodblock anthem of 'The Duke Arrives'. *starts bobbing head* How bad-ass is that?!? You know you wanna cruise the streets in a tinted glass '78 Continental Town Coupe with bumping chandeliers on the hood...


and
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IbENhng6og0&feature=related

... thank me later

9. A giant 1/2 inch thick prop $80 000 000 Publisher's Clearing House Prize Patrol paperboard check made out to F. C. Laumann. Worthless.. sure. But don't say that to the motley gang of punks who I buy off in a repurchase of Manhattan island in my attempt to build an empire. Repetitious history, gotta love it.

10. An English-Cockney/Cockney-English dictionary, 'cause we'es all know the droogs and apparachiks drinking theys molokos and doing theys ultra-violence yeah, theys goin to be runnin tomorrow's world.


... Really... what more could I need? Quote

amicu, you are insane!


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amicu...what's it like in your world....really i want to know...and thanks for including me in the after after life Quote