So perjorative.

Without them we'd have so many unkept lady bits, soured and tart. Really we cannot be so tired of the harmless douche. Think of the consequences of less douches, 'No thank you madame but this cheese is ripe, well-aged but I couldn't possibly have more' with polite declinations.. Nay, love thy neighborly douche, and cast thy scorn toward the lowly yeast. "No no, THIS lad is a fine little douche come to wash away the irritants, he stays."

Perhaps then it isn't the douche we've so tired of but the vehicle. Douchebaggery, not douches. But even on this band of wagons I cannot jump, and not just because white men cannot jump. With a booster stool truly I gain considerable altitude. Consider the douchebox. Boxes leak and get soggy corners. My Chinese takeout egg foo-yong is already plotting escape from its divinely designed paperboard carton across the refrigerator shelf. And the notion of corners makes it too difficult to keep clean between rinses. No, a douchebox would never work.

Perhaps.. yes, perhaps a douchebucket. That could be the answer. But they're rather clumsy and large, aren't they? So much sloshing about, a bit messy I think. And when it comes to such intimate places as the female vagina, size certainly matters, as I'm often told, and clearly the smaller the better. Almost not even knowing something is there is best. Am I right, ladies? So a bucket and hose are right out.

A can of douche could work, but with the aerosol process you'd simply have a jet stream blasting directly at one's uterus. One aims for a gentle rinse, there's no fire to put out. Turn down that hydrant.

No, I'm afraid the douchebag is the perfect delivery vehicle, and I'm quite happy to have them. The world needs more douchebags, not less. They're a service to us all. So stand and be counted, you douches and douchebags. I salute you.






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amicu, you are insane! Of course I mean that in the nicest possible way

And when it comes to such intimate places as the female vagina, size certainly matters, as I'm often told, and clearly the smaller the better.


"the female vagina", you say. Are there other kinds? Quote

"the female vagina", you say. Are there other kinds?



Let me call Adam and find out .... Quote

What a well versed essay on the matter! Quite frankly, while I certainly have written a thing or two that have made their way �round the world, I had not even considered this thought provoking topic! One that I am sure could really be expounded upon even more, no?

I certainly would not have expected anything less from you; well said my dear A!


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I see it as a confusion of identity. The poor douchebags have been made guilty by association, for it is so easy to think of the funk being cleared or prevented by the douche whenever the douchebag is mentioned. In fact, for many it is impossible to think of one without the other. Thus, instead of being heralded for its contributions in keeping women fresh, the douche is cast aside, thrown away, flushed with the bacteria and yeast which it so heroically banished... Quote

I see it as a confusion of identity. The poor douchebags have been made guilty by association, for it is so easy to think of the funk being cleared or prevented by the douche whenever the douchebag is mentioned. In fact, for many it is impossible to think of one without the other. Thus, instead of being heralded for its contributions in keeping women fresh, the douche is cast aside, thrown away, flushed with the bacteria and yeast which it so heroically banished...


douches never did a thing for the dinner rolls ... in fact they promote the heroic promulgation of the mighty sourdough loaves which seem to appear in abundance around this mighty edifice to cross-contamination and horrid plastic scented breath.

*unfurls another banner from the endless Dudley Is Emperor No More line*

"SOURDOUGH SURVIVES!!!"

*sets fire to several piles of used Kleenex that are laying in corners and hallways*

*eyes the chair that amicu has pulled out for me* "Umm no, I think that might actually BE rubber cement on the seat of that one my Doll."


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So perjorative.

Without them we'd have so many unkept lady bits, soured and tart. Really we cannot be so tired of the harmless douche. Think of the consequences of less douches, 'No thank you madame but this cheese is ripe, well-aged but I couldn't possibly have more' with polite declinations.. Nay, love thy neighborly douche, and cast thy scorn toward the lowly yeast. "No no, THIS lad is a fine little douche come to wash away the irritants, he stays."

Perhaps then it isn't the douche we've so tired of but the vehicle. Douchebaggery, not douches. But even on this band of wagons I cannot jump, and not just because white men cannot jump. With a booster stool truly I gain considerable altitude. Consider the douchebox. Boxes leak and get soggy corners. My Chinese takeout egg foo-yong is already plotting escape from its divinely designed paperboard carton across the refrigerator shelf. And the notion of corners makes it too difficult to keep clean between rinses. No, a douchebox would never work.

Perhaps.. yes, perhaps a douchebucket. That could be the answer. But they're rather clumsy and large, aren't they? So much sloshing about, a bit messy I think. And when it comes to such intimate places as the female vagina, size certainly matters, as I'm often told, and clearly the smaller the better. Almost not even knowing something is there is best. Am I right, ladies? So a bucket and hose are right out.

A can of douche could work, but with the aerosol process you'd simply have a jet stream blasting directly at one's uterus. One aims for a gentle rinse, there's no fire to put out. Turn down that hydrant.

No, I'm afraid the douchebag is the perfect delivery vehicle, and I'm quite happy to have them. The world needs more douchebags, not less. They're a service to us all. So stand and be counted, you douches and douchebags. I salute you.










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