* fwoo fwee fwoo fwee fwee fwee fweeeeeeeeeee fweeeeeeeee fwee fwee fwee*

Meadowcock: Shoot it over here squirty...

Squirty: All right

*fweee fweeee fwee fwoo fweeeeee fwoo fwee fwee fwee fwoooooooooo *

Doc Cock: Three at the same time!

* fwee fwee fwooo fwoo fweeeee fwwee fweee fwooo fwoo fweee *

Saltiness: Surf it over here bb. That's right!

* fwoo fwee fwee fwee fwee fweee fweeeeeeeeeeeee fwoo fwee fwee fwee fwee fwooooo fweeeee*

Meadowcock: If they give ya lemons, y'all, make lemon aid.

Squirty: And if they give you give you something limp.... you know what to do.

Meadowcock: Round the world.

Doc cock: Ain't that yoyos?

Meadowcock: Them too.

* fweee fwee fwoo fweee fwee fwooo fwee fwee fwee fwee fwee fwee fwee fwee fweeeeeeeee*




mmmmm nice

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mmmmm nice




Yeah : )

Nobody brings more joy just playing around with their talent than the Pochipsie Cocktrotters...



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Voice: Help me! Spcock! Help me!

Captain Cock: It's a trap!

Lincock: We can't take that chance. I'll go.

Captain Cock: *sigh* Spcock better do some stretching looks like we'll end up doing it all.

Lincock: Aiiiiiiiiiigggggggghhhhhhh!

Captain Cock: Eat death servants of Evil!

Khan: Fat chance weakling.

Futuristic Dictator Cock: Yeah!

Random Evil Pussy: Feel my bite!

Klingcock Fiend: Just try to guard your back and your front.

* BIFF BAM STAB CRACK REND GNASH *

Alien Testor: Very good. It is clear that Evil talks tough but can't back it up when the chips are down. But Good's causalty rate is very high.

Captain Cock: What gives you the right?

Alien Testor: Right? Might makes right! Begone!

Captain Cock: Was he like you thought?

Spcock: Yes. And died even faster than I'd expected. So easily duped into the trap.

Captain: Hmmmmm yes. I don't think the real Lincock would have fallen for that either.

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Jahn: She was... the only one I loved...

The Father: Go on...

Jahn: We waire both so yahnguh...

The Father: Yes... many many years ago...

Jahn: Her haire was blackaire than the night weethout the moon nor stars...

The Father: So black... So vairay black...

Jahn: Haire skeen, was as palleed as fahn whaht porcelin.... from the Orient...

The Father: Waterford... eastern outlet...

Jahn: Haire eyes... dark... lovely... full of heavenly light.... Haire leeps full, tulips of ze meadow...

The Father: *sigh*

Jahn: *sigh*

The Father: And you nevaire got to hold haire deed you?

Jahn: No... Eet was not to be...

The Father: Deed she even know?

Jahn: She knew...

The Father: What was eet?

Jahn: eh?

The Father: Why could you not love haire, be weeth haire?

Jahn: Eet was.... duty.

The Father: Ah yes... duty... You were strong but eet broke sometheen eenside forevaire...

Jahn: Forevaire...

The Father: Your mind now, ees not so good.

Jahn: No... nevaire ze sameah.

The Father: Yes... yes... I see...

Jahn: Does ze Lord mahk eet all raht again eeen ze aftairelife? For such a case?

The Father: No no... you are screwed.

Jahn: Oh..................... You know eet sucks.

The Father: hmmmm?

Jahn: Eet sucks, what you tell me.

The Father: But you are a man now. Man was born to suffaire as ze sparks they fly upwards.

Jahn: I ahm not sure but I theenk that I will geet a seestaire, a Cosette, to replace ze fathaire.

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Victor: Eet was ze best of tahms....

Wife: Veector! Veector!

Victor: Eet was ze worst, ahm ah tellin' you, ze varaiy worst of tahmsah.

Wife: Veector!

Victor: What my Eponine? What ees eet nowah?

Wife: Eponine? I lahk that. Eet ees ze cock. E as gotten eento yoor manuscreeps!

Victor: Oh let heem be. Ees been een ze undairewaire all hees lahfuh. Ees steel lairneen how to be zo free.

Wife: Free.

Victor: Free. But maybe weeth a leetle monarchial supairveesion.

Wife: A smeedge maybe.

Jahn Val Johnson: Nevaire! Foul Bourboneestas! Bonapartians! Blue blooded restoraires of ze othaire estates... Ze Revolution must be complete! Cosette come with me to ze barricades!

Cosette Cunninglinguist: To ze barricades! Viva la viva la Republic Zecond? Thaird!

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Deekens: It was the best of times... It was the worst of times... A tall, skinny cock was drafted in the first round to play for the Pistons. A short squat cock lost his title of sumo champion of Japan. By selling cock rings, J. P. Cocken became a bazillionaire. The famous Death Cock brigade was lost fording a cold stream in Norway - simply shrinking away to nothing.

Opportunity for a young cock was beyond belief. Dangers befalling the over confident cock were never greater. Among the women a good cock was never more popular. In dark alleyways a careless cock might be k1dnapped and used for the most hideous purposes.

It was an age of new techniques and exercises that allowed each cock to reach his full potential. It was a time of new diseases that made an uncovered cock more vulnerable.

It was an Age, in short, of great extremes. When an ambitious cock could dream. When the family of a complacent cock would mourn...

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Iiiiiifffffff a cocky...
should meet a lassie...
comin' through the ryyyyyyyyyyyeeeeee.

Iffffff a pecker...
should kiss a fapper...
coming through the ryyyyyyyyye.

whaiiiiiiiin a randy rod o' candy...
waves like a wand...
making necromancy

Yeah!
Hurray!
Up with cocks!
Today!
we're gonna set the stage now!
Today!
Hurray!
Up with cocks!
Today!

- score from the 2014 Superbowl halftime show

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How long is my cock? How long is my cock?!?

It was this question that began my five thousand year journey...

You see the answer may seem reachable at first... Once you work out that you can create a complex function that captures the dependence on environmental parameters such as temperature, beauty of surrounding scene, current oontents of blood stream, eletric potential, static charge level, laminar flow rate, steady - state relativistic effects, thrusting frequency, game theoretic lovemaking strategy operant and related characteristic constants... Once you have captured all this and set up the measurement system to monitor the changes. But this seeming relative simplicity is merely an illusion.

You must first consider the quantum effects that we so often neglect to consider. We are made up of particles that have a wavelike nature. Our cocks are not fractal entities. One is wise to zoom and zoom and zoom to check that the length depends on the resolution we measure with but this does not continue forever... We enter the quantum world at some point.

But you say, surely this matters not when such enormous environmental induced variability must surely dominate all other considerations. To banish this foolish notion let me simply ask: all right then, at one of the extremes of the environmental variation, how long is your cock? Measure it precisely for even a range in theory can be known quite precisely by dealing carefully with the endpoints.

It is common at this point to simply sputter out: "Heisenberg's uncertainty principle." But this is not in fact the limit.

When a man's cock is immersed in a stream in Norway, it shrinks to one extreme of his variable range. The fundamental particles become packed more densely than a neutron star. If he has a really incredible pecker he may in fact gain a runaway black hole where his johnson used to be and be swallowed up whole. This is tragic but does let us off from measuring this endpoint of the range. Which is a good thing. Because matter packed this tightly does not obey either general relativity nor quantum mechanics very well.

When a man's cock is exposed to sex with a triad of greased up supermodels, it reaches the other endpoint of its range. In this limit it is the law of plasmas that must be applied. Not the quantum theory and most certainly not the string theory which will never have the ability to deal with such a stiff object. The particles that make up the cock are totally ionized from the highly excited state. In fact there may be up and down conversion between lighter and heavier elements thrust to thrust. When in this state, any adjacent magnetic fields can have a major effect on the shape and size of the cock at any time. Energy and thus mass, which corresponds to both the length and width of the cock footprint, may be diminished by Chernekov radiation released as the tip of the cock moves faster than the speed of light in the vaginal walls. If one wants to measure the cock by its "effect" rather than plasma radius, it will become necessary to consider the diameter of the radiation cone.

Measure safely when in this extreme. Remember, don't cross the beams...

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Quantization, quantization... you may need to understand quantization.

I never did. Need to. For me it mattered little if some particular pussy accepted my cock. So long as my... needs... were met elsewhere. But you, you may get all worked up about one particular female.

So let me dispel a myth for such a case. The length of your cock matters less than its quantization relative to your target pussy. For just like many other systems, a woman's pussy is quantized as to the cock it will accept. L = N p dq. Were L is the length and p is a fundamental constant that differs woman to woman. dq is the fundamental building block of the cock monolith. All lengths are from the product N p times this unit which is the same for all men. It turns out that when a man goes from unexcited to excited fully, he does not go through a continuum of lengths. No, each time his cock expands a little it jumps instantaneously from say N-1 to N times p dq.

Now you say " I have never had my cock rejected by a pussy" This actually is not true. All men have. It is just that the pussy is clever enough to reject it while in conversation in that bar, or in that quick chat in a party, with clothes on and cock out of view. The acceptable set of lengths is of course part of that programming that is in the woman's DNA.

It is worse, far worse, when the woman senses that she can accept some of your lengths but not others. Then you might find yourself actually experiencing an excitation level dependent rejection, sometimes in mid thrust. You will be doing great and expand a little and WHAMMO end of session.

Try not to worry about it. It is just one of those silly things about us sexual beings. If it happens like this, simply quickly explain the theory, and exit quickly stage left.



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The Cock Quantization Theory has further implications. For the cock also functions as a kind of antenna. It vibrates in fundamental modes that are integer multiples of its lowest order spatial frequency. Since the underlying atoms that make it up also have quantized energy states, the result is a resonant circuit tuned to particular frequencies.

The woman of course at some level knows this. This is the means by which she detects his length set. But it does not end there.

If one plays the correct musical notes it is possible to produce massive orgasms. However, due to the sharpness of the resonant frequency locations in band, the notes must be off the usual scale a bit to hit the central zones.

The cock spectra is thus a dead giveaway about the quantum nature of the world. If observed under careful spectroscopic stimulation it will be seen to occupy sharp lines as opposed to continuous bands. This of course is similar to attraction spectra themselves which are composed of infinitely sharp resonances spaced at irregular morphospatial intervals...

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It is 2 am in Castle Cock...

The rational Cock Mind ponders.... it schemes.... it bustles with restless energy...

Character... is... what you do in the dark...

History is made at night...

The thrusting cock gathers no moss...

Light the fires, beat the drums, grease the skin and row the galley...

The maw of Cock relentless gapes wide...


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