My Name is Fred.
I am one of those guys that likes to smother sauces all over my food... and yes, my body. I almost have to wonder how someone knows about me using A1 sauce. I didn't think anyone saw me.... in the park,... that day during lunch hour, walking my dog. (damn video cameras).
I have a propensity to dabble in the sweets. I have tried peanut butter, but the chunky bits hurt.
I have used honey and find it to be quite sticky and inapproriate for the outdoors. It took weeks for me to see the swelling go down from the bee bites, after the claw marks from the bear disappeared.
My mistress once poured a liquor on me I think it was rum, and licked it all off, so I thought. Until she lit a smoke after sex with a match. I was in the hospital for two weeks with third degree burns.
Never rub a steak on your ass when your dog is hungry.
My favorite, would have to be Ranch Dressing and A1. The cool yet sensual feel of Ranch keeps my nipples hard while a good heaping wad of A1 in the pooper gives me that extra kick, and flavour.
I don't think my neighbours liked it. I went outside to get the paper and .. well... thoughtless me, i forgot to get dressed. Now I am faced with answering the question, who came on your chest, and why is your ass bleeding?
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