It was a dark and foggy night... She was alone... She was worried...
She quickened her pace. Flying down the city streets. But she still heard the tap, tap, click, click, tap, tap, scccccuuuuuuuffffle of someone following her. Only faster.
She hit an intersection. Alone. Blinking "don't walk" signal. She had to stop and wait. Damn! She looked around nervously. Punching the walk button over and over, as if that would help. She couldn't see anything in the fog.
Then... The sign changed. She started moving. Too late! A strong arm encircled her waist. A strong hand slid a rag dripped in chemical over her face. Her eyes rolled up. Total darkness fell.
When she woke she found herself strapped to a bed that could only have come from an asylum. Strapped down. Naked. No... Wait... Not quite naked...
Some fiend had dressed her in a garish, showy, hot pink diaper! Her mind reeled... Her breasts heaved... She looked left... She looked right... There strapped beside her, in a much smaller bed, cigarrette hung rakishly in side of mouth, was a clearly very bad baby. A troublemaker. What could possibly be in store for her? For them?
Now came the mad doctor. Dressed in white lab coat. "Buon giorno, tesoro mia. I hopa you lika your new outfit. bwa ha ha ha ha." (then looking at the baby) "eyyyyyyyyyy bayyyyyyybeeeeeee. Lookin a so fine. ahhhhhhhh ha ha ha ha ha"
He placed metal collanders on their heads. Actually a metal collander on her head and a silver grape fruit bowl on the baby's head. But attached to each were a nasty assortment of wires. Diodes leered out. Capacitors loomed. Van de Graafs started to do their electric dance. The woman's hair started to rise from the strong E and B fields.
The mad doctor, face green from his computer screen, laughed gleefully at what he saw.
A computer voice: "Initiation of Transmogrification Sequence, T - 10 and counting"
mad doctor: "Eyyyyy computer. Thees ees nota the transmogrification. Where's ah mya new program"
Computer: "Sorry doctor. Woman to Baby Cross Channelization With No Equalization Sequence replacing, at T - 3."
mad doctor: "Good... Good!!!! Maka my gangliaaaaa TWEETCH!!!"
Klaxons start to go off.
mad doctor: "Would somebody shut off the god dammed klaxon!!!"
Silence...
Nervous woman. Very cool baby.
Is this the end?
Tune in next week for another episode of:
"The Babe Who Grew Too Much"
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