Welcome to Cougardor Commanders! You will recall that also on the BBC, and using its studio and electronic gear, there was a show called Time Commanders. In that show it was four generals selected from the public vs a great general from the past. But today we have four virtual cougardors against a great cougar of the past.
*** skip of prelimaries in which the cougardors explain who they are and in which they are assigned their roles on the team ***
Today you are fighting the Battle of Tequilla Willie's. A famous cougar, whose name will be supressed, has holed up in the bar of this establishment for a quick drink before she goes back to work in the nearby corporate offices. She is flush with the success of recent boardroom victories, slaughters really, and has a need to translate this into a quick series of sexual conquests. You are playing the role of an equally dangerous team led by a famous cougardor. His peskydillos, in the initial skirmish, succeeded at determining all of her vital statistics, and made all thoughts of returning to the office disappear. Now the main battle begins. Any last words from our experts before they disappear?
Expert #1, from the Royal Oakhurst Military Academy - You may think you have a terrain advantage but you don't. You have to seize the initiative or you will be slaughtered!
Expert #2, from West Point Military College - You have to be really careful not to look at her too closely. She is just incredibly hot this day especially. I mean she is sizzling.
Ok that's it. Time to begin. Good luck. Will this be the day that the head and tail are taken or will a well-known team of men be reduced to notches on the belt of this sexual dynamo?
Let's hear your plan.
General - Ok I will be the general. I want Stan to be the cougarillero1 and Fred to be cougarillero2. Henry, you control the scouts, peskydillos, and artillery. I see that the bar has a big central counter, there are eating tables all around, there is a really wide dance floor to the right, and the music is coming from a standard sound system. We have a numerical advantage. I say we simply get into a line and advance straight into her.
***** long argument after which the plan is accepted *****
The team spends a long time figuring out which place each of them should have in the line.
The cougar watches for maybe 10 seconds, downs her drink, and advances fast on them.
It takes them a long time to see that she is on the go.
cougarillero1 - she's moving. Fast. Aiiiiiiiiggggghhhhhhhhhh I saw her up close. I'm done for.
The cougar quickly strips cougarillero1 naked and handcuffs him. He simply watches her drooling.
The second cougarillero is completely out of range because he is on the other end of the line. He moves fast toward the action but is forced to move around tipped over bar stools and around tables.
The cougardor is forced to take the full force of a cougar charge without any softening up by anything other than the peskydillos - who have simply excited her. She takes him quickly down to the floor and seals his fate with a single kiss. Tossing the handcuffs to him for him to secure himself with.
She rounds upon the second cougarillero who is still coming toward her bravely. She removes her blouse and pulls his head quickly into her heaving breasts. It is over in a second. She owns the floor. All three are handcuffed. All that are left are scouts, artillery, and panic crazed peskydillos. They simply run.
The screens fill with the bloody result. Then flash "Defeat Imminent". Followed quickly by "Defeat".
The military experts come down to grade the sad team's performance.
Expert 1 - You lost the initiative. You spent all your time worrying about your formation and she simply killed you.
Expert 2 - I never liked your plan. You really had to take advantage of your different types of troops to have any chance at all.
Would you like to see what really happened that day? ( a bunch of dejected yeses from the team)
The courgar toyed with the peskydillos. Got very excited and a little drunk.
The great general sent his cougarilleros quickly against her left flank. Forcing her to turn and follow them onto the dance floor. In this open terrain the cougarilleros could seperate out a little and pull her back and forth with their powerful charm. Meanwhile the cougardor slipped behind and had the DJ change the music to the Beatles' Yellow Submarine.
Surrounded on all sides, confused by the music, the cougar began to wear down. The cougardor moved in. The cougarilleros pulled back. And the head and tail were taken!
Thank you for playing Cougardor Commanders
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