i heard some molson and 30 lbs of back bacon go a long way



mmmmmmmmmmmm backbacon...

But cannae hae sae Guinness in me trap....... eh? Quote

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * NEWS UPDATE * * * * * * * * * * * * * *


Prime Minister of Canada to Visit Washington Statement by the Press Secretary

President Obama and Prime Minister Stephen Harper of Canada met today with the Canadian Leader strongly supporting the war on terrorism. Prime Minister Chretien issued the following statement:

CANADIANS WILL HELP AMERICA WITH THE WAR ON TERRORISM!

WE HAVE PLEDGED:
- 2 BATTLE SHIPS,
- 600 GROUND TROOPS,
- 6 FIGHTER JETS.

AFTER THE AMERICAN EXCHANGE RATE, THEY WILL END UP WITH:
- 2 CANOES,
- 6 MOUNTIES,
- AND A BUNCH OF FLYING SQUIRRELS


Now you can pick up some Mounties in the US



That's more than we had to crush the Hittites at Mooseopoli...


Quote

That's more than we had to crush the Hittites at Mooseopoli...




Ouuuuu Hittites at Mooseopoli *rapidly jotting notes for an Aell� flashback*
Quote

Ouuuuu Hittites at Mooseopoli *rapidly jotting notes for an Aell� flashback*




Finally the Industry takes notice. I hope that this time they don't take liberties with the facts!

Predict at most quoted line: "They will hurl a tsunami of war chariots at us? Well then... we will fight while 'hanging ten.'" Quote

Who can forget? -

Sometimes its hard to be a womaaaaaan...
Giving all your love to just one mouuuuuuuuntie
You'll have bad times
And he'll have good times
Doing things that you don't understaaaaaaand
But if you love him you'll forgive him
Even though he's hard to understand
And if you love him
Oh be proud of him
'Cause after all he's just a mouuuuuuuuuuntie

Stand by your mouuuuuuuntie
Give him two arms to cling tooooooooo
And something warm to come to
When nights are cold and lonely...

Stand by your mooooouuuuuuuntie
And tell the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you caaaaaaaaaan

Don't confuuuuuuuuse him
and certainly don't recuuuuuuuse him
but you may confute him when he takes the staaaaaaaand.

Stand by your mooooouuuuuuuntie
And show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can

Ooooohhhh don't be a villaaaain
or baaad shine be a'swillin'
Keeeep it sensssssssiiiiible aaaaaaand cleeeeeean.

Stand by your mooooouuuuuuuntie
Give him your adoration
Make him feel like the center of creation
While you still can...
Stand by.... your... mooooouuuuuuuntie

Quote

Back in '85, after my return from Rigel5, I encountered for the first time, the very well organized and aggressive movement whose anthem is captured, in part here. Maybe they came closest...

Holodna hmoora mountiesky...
Eemruchnoh v'doosheh
Kak mohg znat ya shtoh tee oomriosh? (had to fake my death, you see)

Do svidonia, byehreg mountiesky
Kak nam troodnag pridstahvit shtoh eto nyeh sohn.
mountiesky, dom mountiesky,
Do svidonia mountiesky.

Ay. Avepakhod, avepakhod, nass val nahmarskaya zhdyot nyehdazh dyotsyah.
Nass zah vootmarskaya dah, ee preeboy!

Salute otsam ee nashem dedum
Zahvietum eekh fsigdah vierney.
Tepierre nichtoh, nee astanoivit,
Pabiedney shark, mountieskyhunting straney.

Tiy pliyvee, pliyvee bestrashna,
Gordest say viernykh marieye.
Revoluytziye nadezhdah sgoostk vierif sekh luydeye.

Februar, Februar,
Rahpar tu ium miy nashe pabiediy.
Februar, Februar, Novie meeir fahli numnashy dehidiy. (Yeah they found out the month I was born)

Their movement was never actually defeated. It was simply too expensive to be sustained. A thing any happy-go-lucky bachelor can take hope from... Quote

A key development on the road to private perfection was the advent of cheap computing power on the mountieian desktop. It has become possible to obtain statistics on every aspect of the experience well in advance of any actual encounter. Our staff mathematicians have developed the new branches of mathematics necessary to support the advanced physical models developed by our physicists that are fundamental to the analysis process.

All of this has liberated our behavioral scientists, biologists, and shrinks to pursue the development and proof of their theories and methods. The pace of the learning continues to accelerate. We expect this decade to see the solution to a number of long acknowledged, famous problems in this arena.

As an entertaining sidelight, we are now able to do historical comparisons. For example: Cleopatra vs Nefertiti, how do they stack up over the whole parameter space? We can now supply a very detailed answer with very high confidence levels.

So rest assured... your efforts will be immortalized. Maybe you will be History's Greatest Squirter.

Quote