dudley_do_ride: The Thread of Ultimate Gloom and Uncompromising Despair... - 6/23/12 - Female Performer Chat

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The Thread of Ultimate Gloom and Uncompromising Despair...

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Female Performer Chat: The Thread of Ultimate Gloom and Uncompromising Despair...

Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/24/12 @ 8:49pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Cruelty hides in many guises. People you think are above the fray will betray their honor and reputations to join the cycle of misery.

I am sad to say that the incomparable Stephan Hawking is one such notable case. For years he displayed only the most admirable conduct in his public face. Who cannot help but be inspired by his mastery of Physics and his discoveries. His well known determination to be the best, to overcome all obstacles, is a big part of his fame. His dignity and humor many also admire.

But I am afraid his humor can be black. Consider what he has recently done to the philosopher. For years Science has been hogging more and more of the explanations of the physical world. Its showy equations becoming gaudier and gaudier, more and more powerful. The natural philosopher has seen his domain shrink down to questions such as why does it exist? Or what purpose does it serve? The "it" in question of course is the universe itself.

The Big Bang theory seemed to leave an important bit for the philosopher to ponder. Because if the universe suddenly came into being, to many human minds it seemed to require a cause. Since the theory could not go back earlier in time than the bang, Science couldn't say anything about the preliminaries to the event.

So of course a lot was made of this. Many books written with purple prose. Wonder. Gods. Mystery. Debates held. Positions taken.

Ah but then comes Hawking. He simply says that the equations show that time slows and then stops as one progresses back toward that event. There was no time before t = boom.

So philospher, how could there be a cause if there were no time for it to act?

To make matters worse, he figured out how it could come from "nothing". Because matter and energy are different manifestations of the same thing, all he had to do was perform an energy balancing trick.

The universe at that "time" lol was in the size realm of quantum physics and under its rules. Thus just as particles come into existence and out of existence all the time in that realm today, the entire universe could too at that time when it was so small. The balancing trick: negative energy. Where: space itself.

Soooooooooooo Hawking says I have the mass and energy, I've shown that time itself stops (care to check my work?) nooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooowww what you got to saaaaaay? Baaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyyybaaaaaaaaahhhhh!!!!

The philosopher says: Waaaaaayyalllllllll, ah don't know. My oh my oh my. Ahhhhhhh don't know. Ahhhhhhhhhhh don't know but you can bet I'll add back God.

Yeah well Hawking then says, cruelly, I don't need God for this because it works by itself. If you want to complicate matters lol you just suit yourself.

So now we leave it to the philospher with his argument from first cause to work out first cause in no time. Or maybe he has to go beyond time. At any rate, I expect the mathematics of whatever he comes up with to be speeeeeeeeeeeeeectacular.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/24/12 @ 9:08pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Oh sure its fun now and I don't have a degree in cat psychology, but I think there may be some problems in that household down the road.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/24/12 @ 11:53pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Now this is where the philosopher plays Tom Sawyer. He watches Hawking gloat a bit and then says "excuse me" and goes to the vending machines. He puffs away at a cig while sipping some soda. Bullshits around with his buddies for a while.

Then he gets on the phone and calls all of Hawking's rivals. Of course they all disagree with his idea and have ideas of their own. None of which has experimental evidence yet and all require some government grant money to assess. As does Hawking's.

Sir Roger Penrose has already taken part in some great experiments in which he attempts to gain evidence for his theory in which we are just one of a series of universes in time. He has figured out how photons can pass thru the singularity of the Big Bang and how we might be able to see their signature in our universe. Going beyond the singularity. For all I know he may have already done so, I am always years behind the hot news.

I find that this is all great to sort of fuzz in and out of as I strum my guitar. I explain it to my cat, and he nods wisely.

The universe is a complicated place. We are simple, short lived beings with delusions of grandeur. But working together, over time, and when we play nice together we produce some amazing ideas, theories - not to mention building some cool things.

So... as you were...

and remember...

it's not the heat of the sun... it is the contrast that the zun makes with respect to the cold, cold sky that makes the degrees of freedom, those vitally important degrees of freedom, behave like we need baby...

oh yeah.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/28/12 @ 1:52am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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It was mid-summer in the middle of the vastness of the Russian steppes...

The wind howled and the wolves made chattering sounds...

Their tracks in the deep, deep, snow resembled snowshoes because of the frozen hair between their footpads...

The women were wearing their sexiest, shortest parkas...

But they hadn't found a single daisey all day...

The ice worms crested and crowned...

The huskies bayed...

Blue light streamed in from the weak, weak sun...

And still he came on...

Over the vastness...

The snow weirds reflected in his dark, dark lenses...

His mouth set firm...

The ice from his eye rheum deep and blood streaked...

He still came on...

Even in this artic wilderness, here at the ends of the earth, there would be Justice...

For Savoir-Faire... He... was... truly...

Evairywaire...

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/28/12 @ 2:18am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Kneel maggots, kneel beneath the iron heel of Faire. No creature has taken more life nor loot in the history of crime. Many have tried to diminutize him, but comrades, so they did with Napoleon...

A fetish for cheese is a mark of breeding. A taste for wine, shows so much refinement. You must admit his brain chugs along at a much faster pace than yours, and life here on the steppes is so tough, what difference does it really make who you follow... who you call: father.

But first you must make him a trap. For there is a foolish one approaching. Still so far off. Who wallows in pain and poverty, who can not see beyond his simple reality. Who would fight a fixed duel fairly and who sees honor in a cock fight.

Better wall up your windmills and stuff your ears with cotton. The foolish things you will see and be asked to do for "Justice" may drive you gooey.

Remember... Savoir-Faire eeeeeeez evairywhaire!!!!

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Created by: amanda_fucking_palmer

6/28/12 @ 3:12am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: yeah baby ... i'm faking it again
Posts: 1,793

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*loves these character stories and voices* *pulls up mah chair to the fire pit and warms my tosies*

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/28/12 @ 11:51pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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*loves these character stories and voices* *pulls up mah chair to the fire pit and warms my tosies*

Glad to have you here...

And the fire is tangibly more enjoyable since we know that the mountie suffers so horribly from its lack. He strives, we contemplate, ... in comfort and ease.

Even now my nose positively thrums with joy at the hot toddy fumes that waft its way. My throat feels the warmth and the luxurient wetness of it as I sip in a respectful, savoring way.

The clock tics in the background in a steady, reassuring way.

It is all illusion of course. The mountie is in the real and we in the fantasy. He sees what is and feels the universe react to him in the only way the universe ever reacts to life. He has chosen to endure it for what it buys him in return.

But I am happy with the deal I have made with reality. This toddy is nice. My whole being is at peace. I happily leave to him that path and all that it means...

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/29/12 @ 12:24am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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A town becomes slowly visible to snow clotted eyes. It promises food, warmth. A brief succor.

Oh how the human senses sharpen at such times. The mountie could tell exactly what was on the grill and how it was prepared, miles away. In such a humble place as this he knew he was smelling the fare of the inn, the only inn in town.

He had to pull hard on his cords to keep his dogs in good order. As wild as the smells made him imagine what it was like for these poor creatures who could sense so much better. Without constant grip and resistance from him, they would be lost.

For it was clearly a trap. Miles away it was so obvious. And Faire was not so careless as to show his hand so easily.

Faire was daring and at times boastful, he loved to give the appearance of effortless genius. But the mountie knew very well that it was all deception. Nobody sweated the details nor played the game so seriously as Faire.

Ride pulled the sled to a halt, provoking his dogs to yelp in complaint. He slowly and deliberately f0rced his painful, stiff body to rumage through his equipment, to locate his rifle and to go through the drill that was so deeply burned into him. Assembling it. Oiling it. Trying it. Piece by piece.

He cut away fabric around his joints to fascillitate movement when his gun lay assembled on sled top. He carefully scanned the entire sky. He dropped to the ground, pushing aside snow, and pressed bare ear on frozen tundra. He kneeled down next to his alpha dog and followed his motions carefully, reacting to the more powerful instincts and senses of his keep.

Nothing. Nothing but the obvious ambush waiting for him in town.

He scowled. He wanted very much to go into town as soon as possible. But he never entered a battle in this state. He knew he could easily defeat the forces he knew about there. But he sensed... something he couldn't quite put a finger upon.

The next town was maybe three hundred miles away. His provisions were enough but it would be a hard long haul. When he arrived in that next town he would have to enter no matter what it contained.

The mountie remounted sled. Gave harsh words to his dogs followed by some of his own ration and drink. Lifted his gun to shoulder. And rode wide around and away from the town. Bent upon the next oasis some three hundred miles hence...

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Created by: amanda_fucking_palmer

6/29/12 @ 2:12am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: yeah baby ... i'm faking it again
Posts: 1,793

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*smiles and drifts with the toddy scented snows*

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/29/12 @ 3:41am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Do you remember what it was like when History itself was new for you? You read. Devouring. Or listened eagerly to the tales of your elders.

At that time you didn't know, hadn't the faintest idea, how it would turn out. You read about the famous hero or the bold new civilization. You marveled at their early feats. Their promise. Their power. Their talent. Their ability. Challenge after challenge, tragedy after tragedy, you watched them rise.

You were, now it is so clear, learning about yourself. Rooting for your own nature, the future of your species. It was so important to find out that your life, your destiny, and your very nature were predestined, were secure. You wanted to see evidence of your virtue, your primary place in creation, and your just reward of love, wealth, immortality for a valient life of purpose and principal.

But then, and I'm sure you can remember it clearly, you got your first jolt, your first shock. The hero, the civilization, stumbled. Recovered a bit... but then fell hard. A series of valient acts were suddenly undone by betrayl and / or cowardice.

Yes it was a difficult lesson. Now you marveled at the great difference in character between the true hero and ... how would you even characterize them? The king who never went to war but used the hero to win battles, win battles and then, when the last battle was won, who poisoned his loyal subject out of fear and jealousy. Nobles who allowed invaders to enslave their people in exchange for an easy acquisition of land. While some things may be grey, may be dim, character at least, character burns brightly from within History's pages. Safe from any revisionist account. In the pages of history are men most distinct from one another.

And the challenge of life is very hard. Virtue did not always shine through. Civilizations became corrupt and fell. Small, shining lights that produced works with no equal were snuffed out by large, greedy tyrants. Books burned. Knowledge lost. Cruel murders. Hateful genocides.

In fact in sometimes seems as if there is a certain pattern to it. That once the rot becomes revealed in a particular time and place by some despicable act done by the rulers or the people, their civilization's fate is sealed. Their demise is certain.

Yet... Standing back at a distance... You can perceive a trend that it definately upwards. If you value mankind as a whole and love knowledge. If pure, noble ideas play with your heart strings than this vantage point lets you feel the music of the march forward. In our painful way we surely, relentlessly make this existence better for our descendents than what we inherited.

So the dance goes on... Even as a sled cuts deeper into the heart of an unfortunate land... Unfortunate because of the nature of its new ruler...

We know the hero will do his duty. But because of our history, with sad hearts, we look for betrayl, hoping we won't see the signpost that spells our doom...

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/29/12 @ 12:48pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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His path brought him by a small, two or three family cluster next to a frozen river. Here the snow had a coarser, more malleable texture that allowed the construction of fine igloos. In better times the river was rich with fur-bearing trout.

But this year it was different. Faire had done something to the river because he knew the mountie would come this way. Instead of its normal tourquoise blue it shown sickly green in the weak sun.

The fish lost all their hair and froze to death. The families were starving.

But they were proud and tough. The only sign that they were dying was in how they spent their days. Only tasks having to do with the present, the day to day were performed. Everything that relied upon a future had ceased.

You'd figure that the arrival of a hero in their midst might have rekindled hope but to these people the act of murdering those fish, who were their source of life, was evidence so powerful of the evil in the world that only a very exceptional thing could ever give them hope again. They treated him with respect and kindness but in their hearts believed he was doomed to go the way of the fish and themselves.

He made no speeches nor promises. He observed, understood, and played his role in their ritual.

In the tradition of these people he lay with a young woman. In an igloo that was used for ceremony. It was a silent, serious affair. She wore an icon on a silver chain around her neck the whole time. Her skin was covered with paint and with charcoal. Incense burned. Though they came together often, though the lovemaking was vigorous enough to make igloo walls retreat from steam melt, they never uttered a word. All was touch. Healing. Strengthening. Readying.

Even his dogs had been prepared ritualistically. Hair cut. Nails trimmed. They sensed the serious nature of this place and the precarious nature of their existences in this land, they were alert, serious, and ready.

Then back into the cold... The wind that tried to erode the man and dog...

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/29/12 @ 4:52pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Hunger destroys men in various ways. The first thing to go is focus in the undisciplined. This did not happen to Ride. He did not look side to side or fret. He knew already there was nothing. His dogs too did not seek for something they knew was not there.

Snow covered all. Trees were leafless, barkless, spears. Four - legged grazers had long ago been through here stripping all things green that showed above snow.

No insects crawled. No birds flew. Even his enemy did not patrol because he relied upon cold and deprivation.

Empty igloos now and then. The ever present but totally inedible ice worm.

The mongols would survive by drinking some blood from their horses. Ride had none and needed strong dogs.

Yes the mongols had done better. He would have done well to follow their example. There were times when he had to admit he followed too rigidily the Way.

He snapped his mind focused again. That kind of thought was pointless. He needed to make the journey and then go to war. That was all. Or die in the harness.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/29/12 @ 6:35pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Ooooooo eet eez zo cold ahnd ze mountie eez zoooooo vairay tough. What a mahn. Makes me laugh whan I conseedaire eet.

He eez ah type you knaw. A vairay seelay type of mahn. Ee beelds nawthang. Ee creeates nawthang. All he knaws haw to do eez to drahv ze sleed ahnd wheep hees dawgs.

Look awround at ze fahnairy here. Art. Ze best of food. Weemen who are both beeutiful ahnd zo elegant. Ze ceetees zay grow weeth mah meyuneecepal beeldeens ahn mah monumahnts.

Zere eez abzolootlee no, I zay no, uneemploymahnt. Ahn eez ee zateesfied? Does he congratulate me? Eee zeeks, NO, ee seeks thees theen, justeece, pah, I know what justeece eez.

Justeec eez men weethout work. Eet eez weak ceetees ahnd chaos een ze streets. No plaizure because no ordaire. Oh but ze mountie eez sateesfied.

We weel not av eet! Eet weel be death before we bow before heem.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/29/12 @ 6:35pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/29/12 @ 10:50pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Faire had meticulously calculated it. He added up every joule. Every calorie. He knew what a typical mountie required. And he had ensured that he would not get it. Less than halfway through his journey he should collapse and die.

He had even worked out that he could k1ll him slower by denying food as opposed to water. Water would have petered out if he had desired it, more like a tenth of the way. Too quick. No drama.

Oh but what an error Faire made. He forgot an enormous source of calories. It was so obvious. The mountie had it inscribed upon his tomb. Faire's tomb that is.

THE WOLVES!!!

They had survived by picking off the odd family member as they slowly starved. Now they had to try for Ride. They followed during the day and then made their play at night.

Ride was ready. He put a silencer on a revolver so that he wouldn't frighten any off. One by one he dropped them with deadly accurate shots between the eyes.

And now dined Ride on their carcasses. He built a fire, a large fire, not caring who saw it. In fact he wanted Faire to hear of it. To hear of his fatal error.

There is nothing tastier than a mouthful of wolf when you are at death's door. The dogs grinned at Ride and had their fill. His sleigh as he drove the next day pressed deep into the snow from the weight of the pack.

It's a mountie eat wolf world out there but fortunately... the mountie is on your side.

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Created by: amanda_fucking_palmer

6/30/12 @ 8:02am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: yeah baby ... i'm faking it again
Posts: 1,793

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*fetches Toddy refills and a cigar for you* *looks out the window at the world and wonders why there is no snow*

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/30/12 @ 1:26pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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*fetches Toddy refills and a cigar for you* *looks out the window at the world and wonders why there is no snow*

Ah thank you very much...

And I have some fur-bearing trout fillets for you. Ghastly stuff but it does keep us in step with the story.

Re: the snow. Don't fret. Most people never see it their whole lives. I don't miss it.

No, I don't have any jackelope wings. Too touristy.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/30/12 @ 3:16pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Mal Mute: (nervously) I have some news mastaire.

Faire: (between bites) Ahhhh eet as been mawnths. By naw ee must be a pile of bones by ze rivaire. Wolf gnawed bones, eh?

Mute: Strike that and reverse it mastaire. The wolves are bones. Ride was seen ... east, east of the perimeter. Well fed.

Faire: (spitting food) East!!! Well - fed! My wolves!?! WE HAVE NO TROOPS ON THE EAST LINE!!!

Mute: I have radiod our commanders. They are moving the troops.

Faire: (rising and running out of room) Eet eez much too late for zat. Set off ze mines and get whoever you can eento ze bunkaire.

Mute: Yes mastaire...

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/30/12 @ 3:30pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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The snow had slowed to a gentle fall. The sled now rushed with a random zigging pattern over the terrain. No resistance at all for miles.

Then, with an ear stressing boom a checkerboard of explosions sent earth and ice skyward. The mines that were blown. But Ride had already passed these. A current of warm air pushed him forward.

The dogs barked joyfully as they ran. They smelled a decisive victory. Their noses were never wrong.

Tsun Tsu beamed down on Ride as he maneuvered skillfully over a hastily thrown up barricade and entered the compound without firing a shot.

One blast from his blast gun opened up the headquarters building like a hotdog in a microwave and he quickly homed in on the elevator shaft that would take him down, down, deep to the bunker complex.

A hastily thrown up defensive line threatened to bring him to a stop. But he knew the layout of the complex well from his planning. He simply slid a tray of cheese sans cheese con explosives down the correct ventilator shaft and a quiet lab full of tanks of liquid nitrogen became the trip point for a walking line of explosions. The explosions walked over the line, into the bunker, and hit the ammo reserve next to the fearless leader's chosen site for a fight...

And...

Bits of Savoir Faire waire evairywhaire...

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

7/1/12 @ 12:51pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Now as promised, as expected, as was ever the case since History began and even before, the hero has accomplished his objective.

Do you, a dweller in the world, identify in any way?

I can sense you scoffing at the whole idea of it, "oh Ride is such an effing hero. He scrags a few curs, makes a few wide loops, and then stands back and uses artillery from a distance to win the day. Oh yeah he was hungry for a bit but was he ever challenged so much that he didn't himself believe in the outcome. Did he have to overcome not just his enemy but his friends and his family?"

In your own lives, you can argue, you face larger and more continual dangers. You face evil that cannot be so easily defeated. You face it every day. You become influenced by it. You know that you are going to lose in some sense in the end. You can't work forever. You can't live forever. You might fail in your career. You might even lose all your possessions.

The politician might snuffle and then sob out "oh it is so easy to make cut and dried life and death decisions but how about triumph in the tangled web of the diplomat? or prime minister? Why are there no myths about these men?"

To all of which I take a large swig of rum and reply: It is just a story written for my own enjoyment and if you want to play shrink, go to some other place. Yes we all suffer from the human condition. We all have trouble with reality - understanding it, dealing with it. We all need more money, more time, more security and suffer from our shortcomings. When we get drunk we get wordy, some of us violent but none violet I hope. Just let it be. Relax and let it be an ending. It may not be a good ending. Or even a good tale. But by god it has now ended and you can get a sense of ever loving accomplishment from that!

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