'... huh ...' Tossed into memories and whirling visions by the blindness '... dragons ... Italy ... fogs and iced forests ... a villa burning ... salt tea flavors and scents of lavender in France ... the descending hoards of loathsome zombie male insanity ... the memory mansion and oceans of recalling bubbles ... tortures by that cat with a single green eye at times using electricity ... the poetry ... a pair of twins and then just one ... sunlight and flowers ... all the tender skins and smiles ... an ancient wooden Loom ...' I tremble and struggle and force control upon my body. '... blind ... no ... not ...' Blurs of grey and glares of bright white. I push myself up to a sit; touch my face '... there will be scaring from that shit ...' "One day you fucking Dick! One day I will shave that tapioca spurting scrotum and Veet your ass 'til you scream in surrender!!!!!!" I rise; "AND IT'S RESURFING you smarmy bastard!"

"NO anal BB!!!!"

Rule 23 Take no prisoners! Quote

The last few days had been soooooo wonderful. He wasn't just a great lover, he was also so sensitive, so sweet, such a gentleman. It was almost as if he came from another age, back when there was chivalry, honor... nobility... She sighed and played a little with her hair. Probably because of this line of thinking she had taken to wearing it in long tresses. She felt like a princess... pampered.... cherished... adored...

She sat down on the toilet so that she could look for something deep within her purse easily and ... * splooooooooooooosh * Her tiny hiney ended up in the water. Whaaaaaaa???? How could this be? They both always put down the lid after they went.

With a frown on her face she looked around for clues as she sat on the lid dripping. Underwear! On the floor! Was that A cheese whizz bottle stuck to the ceiling? Oh my fucking god what happened to this place!!!

"DUDLEY DO RIDE!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE?"

The answer came back in a voice she had never heard. And it was somehow not traveling through the air. She could swear, no matter how impossible, that it may be, that the voice was speaking directly within her now seething mind.

"He ees not heer ahm afrayyaid. But let us not looz thees shans, you ahnd I, we weel rewraht zee pahges of all ze luv storrees. Ah hav zee Velveeta... be mah macarohnee..."

* throb throb..... throb throb.... throb throb.... *

AIIIIIIIIGGGGGGHGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!
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Ahnd noo for an eentairmeeshon een the speereet of the times... A historical piece by those great educators: The Irish Rovers

Chorus:
We'll drink a drink a drink
To Lily the pink the pink the pink
The savior of the human race.
She invented medicinal compound.
Most efficacious in every case.

Now here's a story
A little bit gory
A little bit happy
A little bit sad
Of Lily the pink and
Her medicinal compound.
And how it drove her to the bad.

Ol' Ebenezer
Thought he was Julius Ceasar
So they put him in the home.
There they gave him medicinal compound,
Now he's Emporer of Rome.

Freddy Klinger.
The opera singer
Could break a glass with his voice
'Tis said.
Rubbed his tonsils
With medicinal compound
Now they break glasses over his head.

Johnny Hammer
Had a t-t-terrible stammer.
He could hardly s-s-say a word.
So they g-g-gave him
Medicinal compound.
Now he's s-s-seen
But never heard.

(Chorus)

Uncle Paul, he
Was very small, he
Was the shortest man in town.
Rubbed his body
With medicinal compound.
Now he weighs only half a pound.

Lily died and
Went up to heaven.
All the church bells
They did ring.
She took with her
Medicinal compound.
Hark the herald angels sing.

(Chorus)
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*sits quietly listening to the regular synchronization of the mechanical* *a stutter in the universe's movement, a jolt of the imposition of the irregular* *no gongs no chimes no pretty little wooden bird of surprise to make the kiddies leap and laugh, no marching iron statuary imposed on the village square, no smooth cool shadow circumnavigations, not rhythmic spin or whirling gears*

oh my GAWD the COCK stopped! Quote

*sits quietly listening to the regular synchronization of the mechanical* *a stutter in the universe's movement, a jolt of the imposition of the irregular* *no gongs no chimes no pretty little wooden bird of surprise to make the kiddies leap and laugh, no marching iron statuary imposed on the village square, no smooth cool shadow circumnavigations, not rhythmic spin or whirling gears*

oh my GAWD the COCK stopped!


Portia sat in her living room easy chair and tried to relax. What a trying day. She had finally broken up with him. It was so difficult. They had such a long history together. So many memories. He had taken it� badly. Poor dear. How could it have been otherwise?

In the long history of her breakups, however, it was rare for the the man to actually curse her, to actually lay a bona fide curse on her. She laughed a little. I will never date a mountie again.

It was almost five. She stopped her thinking and sipped her tea while she waited for her cuckoo clock to chime. It was the last thing of theirs she had left in her apartment. They had bought it together while traveling through Europe, in this strange little German village that he had insisted they go out of their way to visit. It was part of his mysterious side. He had grown very serious, almost brooding, and had said when asked about their detour �You don�t understand now, but you will someday� someday�. Someday.� She didn�t know why he sometimes repeated himself like that. It was very annoying.

Well after all that it had just been to purchase this silly clock. Oh she had loved the clock. Whenever the hour chimed this prince and this princess would come out and do a little dance. It was so cute. They of course each claimed to be the prince and princess. At the end of the dance the wooden couple would shout out together: �Cuckoo� as many times as the hour. It made her so sad now to see it for no longer would they be that prince and princess. *sigh*

She got up, in her wistful mood, to watch it more closely as it chimed this time. Now the hour struck, and she heard the little song start to play. The little wooden doors opened and out came the princess. With a happy smile on her face, carrying a flower basket. She started to dance along the rails to the little square where they would sing together. But where was the prince? He was late! Damn had the clock finally broken down? Wait! No. Something was happening!

The music changed, she didn�t know how. It couldn�t be. Now instead of a simple clock song there came what sounded like an opera. And not the peaceful aria. No, this was full of tension, drums, lightening, cannon. A figure in a dark cape and hood slunk out onto the rails. And leered at the princess. She screamed. The little doll princess actually screamed! Portia was transfixed. She put out a hand on a nearby chair to steady herself.

The dark figure strode slowly toward the princess. Deliberately. Savoring the moment. His deep voice boomed out , slowly, relentlessly, terrifying stanzas in Sicilian. Justice. Ultimate moment. Fate. Hell.

He reached the square. He dropped his cape. He threw off his robe. And there stood towering over the now quaking princess a cock, a cock with vengeance on his mind! As he brought the piece to the climax he squirted fire from his tip, lava dripped down his shaft. The throb, the pulse from him, tolled the seconds.

Now came the time for the hour chimes. With a motion the terrible disembodied penis waved to summon a pit to open. At each hour chime they wailed and screamed together as they descended together into the flames of the chasm. A chasm that surely led to Hell!!





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Ms Clause: I'll say one thing for him.

Ms Predicate: What's that?

Ms Clause: He's a..... prolific.... writer.

Ms Predicate: hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

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Ee steel walks ze street you know, seely model marshmellows that He ees goeen to rast een ze firyaire camp of luv.

Yoor ovarees are een dangaire of Ees eggay balloon poppeen, backstrokeen, cum d'faires.

'ow lahn weel yoor plump leeps remayn unkeesed ahnd yoor breasts unpumped? Not so long, eh?

So waggle those heeps lahk ze sausayge befor ze dahwg ahd see what becomes of you.



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Anothair foor yew treeveea fans...

What spairt as ze mostah ovairtimza?

Cock shadow boxing. Espaishally een Deecembair.

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The Cock lounged against the wall playing nonchalent...

The pack of models, formed into a circle, watched him nervously... waiting for His next move. They hoped that by banding together there would be some hope, some safety...

His orifice grinned as He reached behind His back and pulled out a bulky cloth sack, light but large. In their minds they could hear His cruel laughter...

* whooooooooooooooosh la la la HA HA HA HA HA ying ton ying ton whoooooooosh HA HA HA HA * (I have no comment regarding the other sounds )

He threw the sack into the center of their protective circle...

They turned to face it... shivering... (yeah I know they are always shivering, bikinis in winter and such. I mean shivering more)

The sack fell open... to reveal... PILLOWS!!!!

AHHHHHHHHHH HA HA HA HA HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA I'LL GET YOU ALL NOW!!!!!!!

And sadly He was right. Because even though they knew better, even as they cried knowing they were foolish and doomed to do so... they picked up the pillows and started to pillow fight.

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It was quiet, it was dark, and then she heard him play... play... play...

( strum strum strum stre strum stre stre stre strummie stummie strum)

My mother told me something that every girl should know
It's all about the Cock and I learned to love Him so
She said He causes trouble when you don't let Him in the room
He will never ever please you if your heart is filled with gloom

So let the Cock slide in face it with a grin smilers never lose and frowners never win
So let the Cock slide in face it with a grin open up your kitty and let the Cock slide in

When you are unhappy the devil wears a grin
But oh! he starts to running when the cum starts pouring in
I know he'll be unhappy 'cos I'll never wear a frown
Maybe if we keep on screwing he'll get tired of hanging round

[refrain]

If I forget to trim my hairs the devil jumps with glee
But oh! he feels so awful when he sees me on my knees
So if you're full of trouble and you never seem to win
Just open up your kitty and let the Cock slide in

[refrain]

Cock: (doing his Elvis impression) Thank ya. Thank ya very much. An old Kitty "deep" Wells song with some new lyrics that I know she'd like...

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i'm krushink yor cock ... so kock-ah-duddle-dooley ... i'm krushink yor kock ...


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>> blah blah blah crush cock blah blah Quote

EDIT BUTTON CRUSHED!!!! NO FLAT COCK!!!

ANIMAL!!! CEREMONY!!! GO TO WOODS!!! FIRE!!!

NOT WOLF!!! NOT SALAMANDER!!! NOT BUNNY!!! NOT TIGER!!!

SOMEKINDA ANIMAL COCK GOD SUPERHERO WHO ISN'T HIGH ON HAPPY DRUG!!! NO!!!

FREAKED OUT ON PSYCHOTIC DRUG AND COMING TO YOUR HOME TOWN NOW!!!! YEAH!!!
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crotch crotch crotch ... just fucking shoot me
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crotch crotch crotch ... just fucking shoot me




Madonna it ain't Quote

Good learning boys and girls. Today's lesson is related to critical thinking. If you ever want to be thinkers, to apply your powerful minds to use Reason instead of wallowing hopelessly in irrationality, you must learn first to identify and be cooly suspicious of the axioms of your arguments. Consider the following:

Once, inevitably, the novelty of a gigantic, evil, disembodied cock wore off, he returned to the mundane concerns of Life.

Hidden within this reasonable sounding statement is an argument complete with axiom and a flawless deduction given the axiom. However, the axiom is false. Completely and totally false.
So the argument fails utterly.

The novelty of a gigantic, evil, disembodied cock NEVER... EVER... WEARS OFF YOU FILTHY MAGGOTS!!!

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...

The novelty of a gigantic, evil, disembodied cock NEVER... EVER... WEARS OFF YOU FILTHY MAGGOTS!!!



LOLOLOL
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Uh so do it like this with me Quote

Uh so do it like this with me


And so it began...

You may think the Cock acted blindly, in the heat of passion... But no... the reality is that He planned carefully each...

Each was personal... each was unique...

How did He start? He started with the Mind...

Each disclosed countless things to Him before ever uttering a word. For He was a cunning and shrewd observer. Without leaving a ripple on the pond surface, He secretly plumbed their depths...

Good... good... a formality passed. Like the vampire He must be invited in...



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eeekkk


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