FOOOM FOOOM FOOOM!!!! KRAAAAAZZAAAAAAAAP!!!!!

KABOOOM!!!! RATTATAATAAATAAAAAATAAAAATAAAATAAAA!!!! POP POP POP POPPETY POP POP!!!

BLAMMIE! ZOOL ZOOL ZOOL!!!! FWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEKAAAAAAAABLAAAAAAAMMMMMMMMM!!!!

It was electric death to the left! Electric death to the right! Death rained from above! Hell rose from below!

It was the loudest of times! It was the most blinding of times!

It was the Age of the Exclamation Point, man!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

When it finally ended... a charred clearing had formed with a blackened pit filled with emotipool water... acrid smoke rose curled up in wisps into the dark sky...

47 heros stood with holstered weapons and arms crossed... surveying the field of their victory. The brave credit warriors had restored balance to the universe. Emoticons must forevermore be servants not masters. Their wanton ways are not our ways. Their irresponsible nature dooms them and limits their place. Emoticon leader and his hateful lieutenants can only mess with the underworld. All credit to our heros! Long live the One, the True, the Original!



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Coming to theatres near you... Just in time for Christmas... The sequel to the saga...

THE WAR FOR EMOTICON5

The preview has the hot new track from Jonathan Coulton

This year has been a little crazy for the credit warriors.
You may recall they had some trouble last year.
The Emoticon Galactic Council had them banished to a prison planetoid.
That hasn't undermined their holiday cheer.
And they know it's almost Christmas by the marks they make on the wall.
That's their favorite time of year.

Merry Christmas... from deep inside Emoticon5,
Where we're working in a mine for our emoticon overlords.
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors.
Merry Christmas from Emoticon5.

On every corner there's a grinning emoti Santa Claus, who watches over us with glowing red eyes.
They carry weapons and they know if you've been bad or good.
Not everybody's good but everyone tries.
And the rocks outside the airlock exude ammonia-scented snow.
It's like a Winter Wonderland.

They tried to decorate and make it look more Christmassy, but what they did was more like Christmas in hell.
They nailed a Santa to a cross in front of everyone,
It wasn't pleasant but I'm sure they meant well.
And the rocks outside the airlock exude ammonia-scented snow.
It's like a Winter Wonderland.

Merry Christmas from the center of Emoticon5,
Where we're working in a mine for our emoticon overlords.
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors.
Merry Christmas from Emoticon5.

That's all the family news that we're allowed to talk about.
We really hope you'll come and visit us soon.
I mean we're literally begging you to visit us.
And make it quick before they [MESSAGE REDACTED].
Now it's time for Christmas dinner - I think the emoticons sent us a pie!
You know I love my credit souffle.

Merry Christmas from way under Emoticon5,
Where we're working in a mine for our emoticon overlords.
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors.
Merry Christmas from Emoticon5.
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Coming to theatres near you... Just in time for Christmas... The sequel to the saga...

.
.
Merry Christmas from Emoticon5.


I always wanted to celebrate Christmas in July too

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Coming to theatres near you... Just in time for Christmas... The sequel to the saga...

THE WAR FOR EMOTICON5

The preview has the hot new track from Jonathan Coulton

This year has been a little crazy for the credit warriors.
You may recall they had some trouble last year.
The Emoticon Galactic Council had them banished to a prison planetoid.
That hasn't undermined their holiday cheer.
And they know it's almost Christmas by the marks they make on the wall.
That's their favorite time of year.

Merry Christmas... from deep inside Emoticon5,
Where we're working in a mine for our emoticon overlords.
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors.
Merry Christmas from Emoticon5.

On every corner there's a grinning emoti Santa Claus, who watches over us with glowing red eyes.
They carry weapons and they know if you've been bad or good.
Not everybody's good but everyone tries.
And the rocks outside the airlock exude ammonia-scented snow.
It's like a Winter Wonderland.

They tried to decorate and make it look more Christmassy, but what they did was more like Christmas in hell.
They nailed a Santa to a cross in front of everyone,
It wasn't pleasant but I'm sure they meant well.
And the rocks outside the airlock exude ammonia-scented snow.
It's like a Winter Wonderland.

Merry Christmas from the center of Emoticon5,
Where we're working in a mine for our emoticon overlords.
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors.
Merry Christmas from Emoticon5.

That's all the family news that we're allowed to talk about.
We really hope you'll come and visit us soon.
I mean we're literally begging you to visit us.
And make it quick before they [MESSAGE REDACTED].
Now it's time for Christmas dinner - I think the emoticons sent us a pie!
You know I love my credit souffle.

Merry Christmas from way under Emoticon5,
Where we're working in a mine for our emoticon overlords.
Did I say overlords? I meant protectors.
Merry Christmas from Emoticon5.




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I always wanted to celebrate Christmas in July too




Yeah : ) Drinkin' eggnog as float on an air matress on the ocean with your mistletoe halo on.
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Ah a communicade from that partying faction of the emoticon caste system that we have been bribing to come over to our side. Divide and march to freedom!




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Everybody... Eeeeeeeveeeeeerybody is a critic:

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But looming further out in Do Ride Studios Grand Strategy...

DAS KREDIT!!!!

Journey with the KreditMarine along with us next Spring as the battle in the Sea of Murmurra heats up. Emoticon convoys brave Kredit torped0es to break the siege of the United Emoticon Kingdom by the KreditMarine. Our lone wolf Kredit captain fatalistically undergoes mission after mission knowing all the time that one Emoti charge can blow the gaskets and subject his K - boat to unstoppable crushing undersea forces.

what is this madness we call war? When will the vast emoticon horde recede back into the cracks of existence?

PSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSHHHHHHHHHTTTTTTTT! KAAAAAAAABOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM POP POP POP PING PING PING PING!!!

Kapitan Kredit: WE CANNOT TAKE MUCH MORE OF THIS!!!! MAKE OUR DEPTH 800 METERS!!!

KONN: EENTENIFYEEN PEEN!!!! PING!!!! PING!!!! PING!!!! PING!!!!! PING!!!!

ZONAR: HEY!!!! DAT EEST MEIN ARBEITSGEKREDITSHAFT!!!!!!

KONN: STEPPEN SIE RECHT AUF HUNDIGEN ZONAR GUY!!!

KAPITAN KREDIT!!! MACHT ALLES SIE MUTT UNT MACH MIT SIE TAUER TAUER RECHT AUF DIE BAUPLANEN UNT BANKENPEDALS!!!!

ZONAR: KONN: WAAAAAAAASSSSS???

EVIL EMOTICON DIVER: PREPARE TO BE BOARDED KREDIT SCUM!!!!

Yes the evil emoticons can withstand the pressures that would crush you or me. Is there anything this evil can't do? Is there anyplace they won't go?

Join us this Spring for the war for the seas of earth. For the drying out of the emoticon wet war. For this application of the credit dessicant!


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Years after the Great Victory, the credit world started to get complacent as a new generation started the long process of maturing and assuming The Mantle...

Credit Teacher: Class? Class! This is Credit Hero, The Original, The One. He is here to teach you about emoticon safety. Give it up for Our Hero!!! YaY!

Class: Whoooooo Hoooo!!!! Yaaaaaaaaaayyyyy!!!!

Teacher: Sir I give it over to you. I am going out to my car and listen to the radio and smoke something pungent and good.

The One: These are good times. But the danger is real. Suppose an emoticon, or even just a stranger, approaches you and invites you for some candy in his van.

Shallon: Mr. Hero. Awesome name by the way. My name is Shallon. And I love candy! I say hit that van! Hit that van!

The One: No! NO! NO! NO! Emoticons are dangerous. Stangers are dangerous. Stay away from vans!

Shallon: Mr Hero, candy is so wonderful. If there is even a chance of candy I am gonna jump in that van!

Peter: Yeah! Imagine how much candy you can fit in a van! You've made me see vans in a whole new way!

The One: No! The emoticon is a stranger!

Shallon: So I go: My name is Shallon what's yours? I'm from orange county where are you from? Everything checks out! Now get in that van!

Betty: Ooooooo I get it. So if you introduce yourself to a stranger they are no longer a stranger anymore!

The One: You may know his name now but his is still a foul, devious emoticon!

Fred: You are a meanie! All he did was offer us some candy!

Wendell: *looking out the window* Hey guys look! There is a van parked across the street! Maybe it is an emotican with a vanload of candy! Let's all approach him after class!

The One: Con! Con! It's emoticon! Do not approach that van! It is very dangerous! Shallon may be very confident. But she doesn't know what she is talking about. Never ever talk to strangers.

Shallon: What?! I am in the back of this guy's sweet van, scarfing down handfuls of candy, and I'm supposed to stay completely silent? That's class A bad manners sir!

Betty: Yeah! That's disrespectful sir!

The One: When I say don't talk to strangers that includes not getting into their vans!

Shallon: Whooaaaa waiiit back it up, back it up. I am all about candy. If all I have to do to get candy is hang out in some sweet van then I am all about vans!

Fred: Shallon's right! I am starting to see vans in a whole new light. Do you know how much candy you can fit in a van?

Willy: Mr Hero, when I grow up I want to drive a van full of candy around and give it out to little k1ds. Thanks to you! I love vans!

Shallon: Big day for vans!

Wendell: That van is still parked across the street!

Class: Yay!!!!

The One: Ok OK!!! Shallon come up here and let's act out a scenario. You are all alone and I come up to you. I am a total stranger.

Shallon: Right, right.

The One: Hey little girl... I've got some candy. Come with me to my van and I will give that candy to you.

Shallon: All right! Let's go! You are probably one of my dad's friends.

The One: No no no! You have not met me before. I am a stranger.

Shallon: I haven't met all my dad's friends. Or even my dad.

The One: I am not one of your dad's friends!

Shallon: Wait are you saying that you are my dad! Papa!

Susie: Yaaay! Shallon is reconnecting with her father!

The One: I am not your father! I am a dangerous stranger!

Billie: Man up! Take responsibility for your k1d!

The One: She's not! She's not my dammned ch1ld! Can any of you see something wrong with this scenario?

Wendell: Oh let me see... yeah... THERE ARE NO VANS!!!

Betty: Yeah and NO CANDY!!!

Fred: And the guy playing Shallon's father sucks!

Kurt: But Shallon is awesome!

Class: Yeah! Shallon is awesome!!!

Shallon: *blushing only a little* Yeah... I am clearly the van of acting!




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