LickaU: Kamilaa - 3/13/09 - Female Performer Chat

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Female Performer Chat: Kamilaa

Created by: lickau

4/15/09 @ 3:44am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285

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Sugar Candy Lady was on for a brief time - but so nice to see you

I hope you have a great day and you are THE STAR :angel

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Created by: Kamilaa

4/16/09 @ 9:12am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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I want to fly on the wings of my soul !!!

Go with the stars, to meet my fate ,,,

At sunset the clouds sink in water

And the stars below to be closer to me,,,

**********************************************

I wish all fly on the wings of the soul

And notice the simple delights of life

With best wishes to all ! Kami

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Created by: old_rocker

4/16/09 @ 11:05am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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So this older guy goes to the doctor asking for a prescription for 'Viagra'. The guy asks for a large dose of the *strongest* variety. The doctor asks why he needs so much. The guy says that two young nymphomaniacs are spending a week at his place. The doctor fills the prescription.

Later that week, the same guy goes back to the doctor asking for pain killers. The doctor asks 'why, is your dick in that much pain?', 'no', says the guy, 'it's for my wrists - the girls never showed up!'

:drinkup

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Created by: old_rocker

4/16/09 @ 11:13am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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The doc told him that masturbating before sex often helped men last longer during the act. The man decided, "What the hell, I'll try it,"He spent the rest of the day thinking about where to do it. He couldn't do it in his office. He thought about the restroom, but that was too open. He considered an alley, but figured that was too unsafe. Finally, he realized his solution. On his way home, he pulled his truck over on the side of the highway. He got out and crawled underneath as if he was examining the truck. Satisfied with the privacy, he undid his pants and started to masturbate.

He closed his eyes and thought of his lover. As he grew closer to orgasm, he felt a quick tug at the bottom of his pants. Not wanting to lose his mental fantasy or the orgasm, he kept his eyes shut and replied, "What?" He heard, "This is the police. What's going on down there?" The man replied, "I'm checking out the rear axle, it's busted." Came the reply, "Well, you might as well check your brakes too while you're down there because your truck rolled down the hill 5 minutes ago."

:orglaugh

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Created by: lickau

4/16/09 @ 2:19pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285

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A woman walks into a bar wearing a short mini skirt and orders a Coors, the bar tender gives her the beer, she drinks it as fast as possible and passes out falls off the bar stool, legs wide open and the 5 guys in the bar all have there turn with her until she wakes up and walks out. the next day the same thing happens only there were 5 more guys and they all did what they wanted with her when she passed out till she woke up and left. The next day she walks into the bar and there's at least 20 guys, so she goes to the bar tender who is waiting with her Coors and she says "I'll have a Bud" and the bar tender says I though you drank Coors. she says I did but that damn Coors makes my pussy hurt.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Somewhere in Alabama:

Half dressed redneck couple sitting on couch watching news on TV with man's arm around woman:
Man: "Lookit them homo-sekshuls a ruining the sanctity of our institution. We oughta go to San Francisco just to show dem liberals that marriage means one man, one woman. Right, Darlin'"

Woman: "Right, Daddy"

A lady walked into a pharmacy and spoke to the pharmacist.

She asked: "Do you have Viagra?"

"Yes," he answered.

She asked, "Does it work?"

"Yes," he answered.

"Can you get it over the counter?" she asked.

"I can if I take two," he answered.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Dear wife,

You must realize that you are 54 years old, and I have certain needs which you are no longer able to satisfy. I am otherwise happy with you
as a wife, and I sincerely hope you will not be hurt or offended to learn that by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Grand Hotel with my 18 year old teaching assistant. I'll be home before midnight.

Your Husband

When he arrived at the hotel, there was a faxed letter waiting for him
that read as follows:

Dear Husband,

You too are 54 years old, and by the time you receive this letter, I will be at the Breakwater Hotel with the 18 year old pool boy. Since you are a mathematician, you will appreciate that 18 goes into 54 more times than 54 goes into 18. Therefore don't wait up.

Your Wife

Quote

Created by: lickau

4/17/09 @ 4:12pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285

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Rocker Lady is here :thumbsup

is on after a few days gone

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Created by: lickau

4/17/09 @ 7:56pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285

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A large, powerfully-built guy meets a woman at a bar. After a number of drinks, they agree to go back to his place. As they are making out in the bedroom, he stands up and starts to undress.

After he takes his shirt off, he flexes his muscular arms and says, "See that, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She begins to drool.

The man drops his pants, strikes a bodybuilder''s pose, and says, referring to his bulging thighs, "See those, baby? That''s 1000 pounds of dynamite!" She is aching for action at this point.

Finally, he drops his underpants, and after a quick glance, she grabs her purse and runs screaming to the front door.

He catches her before she is able to leave and asks, "Why are you in such a hurry to go?"

She replies, "With 2000 pounds of dynamite and such a short fuse, I was afraid you were about to blow!"

:orglaugh

Q: What do you call a virgin on a waterbed?

A: A cherry float.

:drinkup

girl asks her boyfriend to come over Friday night and have dinner with her parents. Since this is such a big event, the girl tells him that after dinner, she would like to have sex with him for the first time.

The boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacy to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about half an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he''d like to buy a 3-pack, 10-pack or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all.

That night, the boy shows up at the girls parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I''m so excited for you to meet my parents! Come on in!"

The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl''s parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious."

The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist!"

:guitar

Quote

Created by: lickau

4/19/09 @ 11:40pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285

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Kamilaa is back and with Easter Eggs and a sexy outfit :evil

Sexy dancing (__/__) (__!__) (____) . much better than that :thumbsup

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Created by: old_rocker

4/20/09 @ 1:00pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Rocker Lady is here :thumbsup

is on after a few days gone

:mad

yessss i know and stuck at work ........................

2 days i missed with kamilaa ..... all work and no kamilaa
makes me sing the blues ......

just for you hun

Don't wish it away
Don't look at it like it's forever
Between you and me I could honestly say
That things can only get better

And while I'm away
Dust out the demons inside
And it won't be long before you and me run
To the place in our hearts where we hide

And I guess that's why they call it the blues
Time on my hands could be time spent with you
Laughing like children, living like lovers
Rolling like thunder under the covers
And I guess that's why they call it the blues

Just stare into space
Picture my face in your hands
Live for each second without hesitation
And never forget I'm your man

Wait on me girl
Cry in the night if it helps
But more than ever I simply love you
More than I love life itself

:guitar

Quote

Created by: old_rocker

4/20/09 @ 1:16pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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What a woman says...

This place is a mess! C'mon!
You and I need to clean up!
Your stuff is lying on the floor and
You'll have no clothes to wear if we
don't do laundry right now!

What a man hears...

blah blah blah blah blah C'MON!
YOU AND I blah blah blah blah!
blah blah blah blah ON THE FLOOR blah
blah blah NO CLOTHES blah blah blah blah
blah blah blah RIGHT NOW!

Quote

Created by: old_rocker

4/20/09 @ 1:17pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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A police officer pulls a man over for speeding. As the officer approaches the car he can see that the man is very anxious about something.
"Good afternoon Sir. Do you know why I stopped you?"
"Yes, officer... I know I was speeding -- but it is a matter of life or death."
"Oh, really? How's that?"
"There's a naked woman waiting for me at home."
"I don't see how that is a matter of life or death."
"If I don't get home before my wife does, I'm a dead man."

Quote

Created by: old_rocker

4/20/09 @ 1:22pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed. He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in Lipstick:

"Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His son is also ajavascript:insertEmoticon(' :winkwink

');t the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son... What happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind. You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door.

Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"
His son replies, "Oh THAT! Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, "Leave me alone, I'm married!!"

Broken Coffee Table: $239.99. Hot Breakfast: $4.20. Two Aspirins: $.38. Saying the right thing, at the right time. . . PRICELESS!!!

:winkwink

Quote

Created by: old_rocker

4/20/09 @ 1:39pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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What do you know about your genealogy? ;-)
>
>> A little girl asked her mother, 'How did the human race appear?'
>>
>> The mother answered, 'God made Adam and Eve and they had children, >> and so all mankind was made.'
>>
>>
>> Two days later, the girl asked her father the same question.
>>
>>
>> The father answered, 'Many years ago there were monkeys, from which >> the human race evolved.'
>>
>>
>> The confused girl returned to her mother and said, 'Mom,
>> how is it possible that you told me the human race was created by God,
>> and Dad said they developed from monkeys?'
>>
>>
>> The mother answered, 'Well, dear, it is really very
>> simple. I told you about my side of the family, and your father told
>> you about his.'

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Created by: old_rocker

4/20/09 @ 1:51pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Arthur Davidson, of the Harley Davidson Motorcycle Corporation, died
> >and went to heaven. At the gates, St. Peter told Arthur, "Since
> >you've been such a good man, and your motorcycles have changed the
> >world, your reward is you can hang out with anyone you want in
> >Heaven."
> >
> >Arthur thought about it for a minute and then said, "I want to hang
> >out with God." St. Peter took Arthur to the Throne Room, and
> >introduced him to God.
> >
> >Arthur then asked God, "Hey, aren't you the inventor of woman?"
> >
> >God said, "Ah, yes."
> >
> >Well," said Arthur, "professional to professional, you have some major
> >design flaws in your invention: Number one, there's too much
> >inconsistency in the front-end protrusion. Number two, it chatters
> >constantly at high speeds. Number three, most of the rear ends are
> >too soft and wobble too much. Number four, the intake is plac ed way
> >too close to the exhaust. And finally, the maintenance costs are
> >outrageous."
> >
> >"Hmmmm, you may have some good points there," replied God, "hold on."
> >God went to his Celestial Super Computer, typed in a few words, and
> >waited for the results. The computer printed out a slip of paper and
>God read it.
> >
> >"Well, it may be true that my invention is flawed," God said to
> >Arthur, "but according to these numbers, more men are riding my
> >invention than yours."

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Created by: old_rocker

4/20/09 @ 5:57pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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ringo starr

t don't come easy
You know it don't come easy
It don't come easy
You know it don't come easy

Got to pay your dues if you want to sing the blues
And you know it don't come easy
You don't have to shout or leap about
You can even play them easy
Forget about the past and all your sorrow
The future won't last
It will soon by your tomorrow

I don't ask for much
I only want trust
And you know it don't come easy
And this love of mine keeps growing all the time
And you know it just ain't easy
Open up your heart
Let's come together
Use a little luck
And we will make it work out better

Got to pay your dues if you want to sing the blues
And you know it don't come easy
You don't have to shout or leap about
You can even play them easy
Please remember peace is how we make it
Here within your reach
f you're big enough to take it

I don't ask for much
I only want trust
And you know it don't come easy
And this love of mine keeps growing all the time
And you know it don't come easy

:guitar

Quote

Created by: Kamilaa

4/22/09 @ 5:33am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Rocker Lady is here :thumbsup

is on after a few days gone

I have so many names )))And if i collect all in one ^_^
INCREDIBLE wonderful charming Brunette- Goddess sweet as candy :P
:orglaugh

Yes ,definitely,- I can Rock ur World :evil

PS: Guys thank you 4 jokes :thumbsup

And Thank you for song (__I__) (__/__)(____)

-------/)/)-----/),/)----(_/)----(.(-----((
-----(':'=)----(':'=)---(=';'=)---(=':')----(=':')
--(")("),,)-(")("),,)---(")_(")--(..(")(")-(..(")( ")

Quote

Created by: Kamilaa

4/22/09 @ 5:35am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Rocker Lady is here :thumbsup

is on after a few days gone

I have so many names )))And if i collect all in one ^_^
INCREDIBLE wonderful charming Brunette- Goddess sweet as candy :P
:orglaugh

Yes ,definitely,- I can Rock ur World :evil

PS: Guys thank you 4 jokes :thumbsup

And Thank you for song (__I__) (__/__)(____)

-------/)/)-----/),/)----(_/)----(.(-----((
-----(':'=)----(':'=)---(=';'=)---(=':')----(=':')
--(")("),,)-(")("),,)---(")_(")--(..(")(")-(..(")( ")

Quote

Created by: Kamilaa

4/22/09 @ 10:06am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Jack says to Mike behind him, "My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I better see a doctor."

"Listen, you don't have to spend that kind of money," Mike replies. "There's a diagnostic computer at the drugstore at the corner. Just give it a urine sample and the computer'll tell you what's wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars...a hell of a lot cheaper than a doctor."

So Jack deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to the drugstore. He deposits ten dollars, and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits. Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout: You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks.

That evening while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Jack began wondering if the computer could be fooled. He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and masturbated into the mixture for good measure. Jack hurries back to the drugstore, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

The computer prints the following:

1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener.
2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo.
3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.
4. Your wife is pregnant...twin girls. They aren't yours. Get a lawyer.
5. If you don't stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

:orglaugh

Guys keep your elbows
:jerkoff

With Best wishes , Kami

Quote

Created by: Kamilaa

4/23/09 @ 8:16am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Soldier Of Fortune lyrics by Deep Purple

I have often told you stories
About the way
I lived the life of a drifter
Waiting for the day
When I'd take your hand
And sing you songs
Then maybe you would say
Come lay with me love me
And I would surely stay

But I feel I'm growing older
And the songs that I have sung
Echo in the distance
Like the sound
Of a windmill goin' 'round
I guess I'll always be
A soldier of fortune

Many times I've been a traveller
I looked for something new
In days of old
When nights were cold
I wandered without you
But those days I thougt my eyes
Had seen you standing near
Though blindness is confusing
It shows that you're not here

Now I feel I'm growing older
And the songs that I have sung
Echo in the distance
Like the sound
Of a windmill goin' 'round
I guess I'll always be
A soldier of fortune
Yes, I can hear the sound
Of a windmill goin' 'round
I guess I'll always be
A soldier of fortune

Quote

Created by: old_rocker

4/28/09 @ 10:25pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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motley crue "same ol situation" (sos)

Same Ol' Situation (S O S )
she's got an alligator bag
top hat to match
dressed in black on black
she's got a philipino girlie
she claims is her friend
i tell you boys you just got to laugh
now, i used to call her cindy
she changed her name to "sin"
i guess it's the name of her game
i really used to love her
then, the kitty she discovered
it's got to be a sexual thing

all around the world
girls will be girls
it's the same ol' same ol' situation
it's the same ol' same ol' ball and chain
i say no no no
no no no

introduced me to her lover
in a cellophane dress
then they bid me a sweet farewell
last time i saw them
they were kissing so softly
to the sound of wedding bells

all around the world
girls will be girls
it's the same ol' same ol' situation
it's the same ol' same ol' ball and chain

just like a punch in the teeth
or a swan dive to the street

no, no, no
no, no, no
if it wasn't for bad luck
i'd have no luck at all

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