A month after Romanian authorities began taxing them for their trade, the country's soothsayers and fortune tellers are cursing a new bill that threatens fines or even prison if their predictions don't come true.

In January, the government changed labor laws to officially recognize the centuries-old practice of witchcraft as a taxable profession, prompting angry witches to dump poisonous mandrake into the Danube in an attempt to put a hex on them. Superstition is a serious matter in the land of Dracula, and officials have turned to witches to help the recession-hit country collect more money and crack down on tax evasion.

Critics say the proposal is a ruse to deflect public attention from the country's many problems. In 2009, Romania needed a euro20 billion ($27.31 billion) International Monetary Fund-led bailout loan to pay salaries and pensions when its economy contracted more than 7 percent. Last year, the economy shrank again. However, this year economists forcast a slight recovery of 1.5 percent growth.

Witches argue they shouldn't be blamed for the failure of their tools. Sometimes people don't provide their real identities, dates of birth or other personal details, which could skew a seer's predictions: really? ... lol

Not so sure it's a great idea to imprison witches if their predictions don't come out true.
But they should have started by doing this to economists long ago.
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Soon,they will tax even the air we breathe

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Soon,they will tax even the air we breathe




That really wouldn't surprise me. Here in Canada we already have to pay 13% tax on EVERYTHING. Even hydro.
Flippin' ridiculous.



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(major setup line)

And tell me... how do they know she is a witch? Quote

(major setup line)

And tell me... how do they know she is a witch?



ohhh dudley.. because she skates with me of course... *mooooo Wooof* (cow_launch) *giggle* Quote

(major setup line)

And tell me... how do they know she is a witch?



Because they weigh the same as a duck??
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ohhh dudley.. because she skates with me of course... *mooooo Wooof* (cow_launch) *giggle*



She being Goldie and Wendy. Quote

Yes *sigh* I fear you are all too right. I feared they were still using the old methods.

Now of course we have scientific techniques, over here, that are very similar to some of the methods showcased in Blade Runner.

I mean witches are soooooo easy. Everything they do is magnified by 1000 times. So a variety of stimullii will work if enough care is taken in the design.

Now aliens, or mutants, are still giving us trouble unless there are breakthroughs in some of our labs that I am not yet aware of. Though I have been reading the journals.

But say fellahs, don't get too caught up in the modern age, the rack and the thumb screws are still important in this day and age. Hehh heh and don't forget that there are always control words that you can interpret in many ways when the time is right.

Stay on your toes. The threat is always evolving.



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Yes *sigh* I fear you are all too right. I feared they were still using the old methods.

Now of course we have scientific techniques, over here, that are very similar to some of the methods showcased in Blade Runner.

I mean witches are soooooo easy. Everything they do is magnified by 1000 times. So a variety of stimullii will work if enough care is taken in the design.

Now aliens, or mutants, are still giving us trouble unless there are breakthroughs in some of our labs that I am not yet aware of. Though I have been reading the journals.

But say fellahs, don't get too caught up in the modern age, the rack and the thumb screws are still important in this day and age. Hehh heh and don't forget that there are always control words that you can interpret in many ways when the time is right.

Stay on your toes. The threat is always evolving.







* ... arches back and screams as the shock passes through her body.. * *.. smoke rises from her skin....* ahhhhh civilization Quote

I think that what most people are failing to consider is that many "supernatural" entities disguised themselves as humans long ago, not to mention the vast number of aliens that masquerade as human while abducting and sending their captives off planet.

The cumulative effect of this is that there are now less than a dozen pure blood, or 'True' humans left in the world, and they are rumored to be very hairy with large feet... Quote

Because they weigh the same as a duck??




LMAO Suggs, haven't laugh so hard in ages, now I will have to watch that movie again. Quote

* ... arches back and screams as the shock passes through her body.. * *.. smoke rises from her skin....* ahhhhh civilization



(aside) see what i mean?

(to Bete) How nice of you to place yourself so fully under my control...

He hits a button and curtains fall away revealing a very well stocked room of pleasures/horrors. But she has no time to take it all in because a gag and a blindfold are immediately applied by smoothly, swiftly moving robotic hands. She is secured by a large number of soft, silky yet oh so strong straps. Robotic hands move over her placing electrodes, applying oils aromatic, connecting her to the arrayed supercomputers and video devices.

Unseen to them both, the news that Bete has been captured quickly propagates to the facility staff. They immediately put in place the electronic and negotiated procedures necessary to pull maximum power from the grid. Lights in neighboring cities go out.

An automated pleasure / pain program kicks off and she begins to writhe slowly and groan.

"You have nothing to fear. This machine merely catalogs your sexual preferences and stimulates you a little. If you are a good witch I will send Crooks to be with you and participate in your stimulii. I will not do anything that I know you do not crave."

Blasts of electricity course through her. Machine induced fantasies enter her feverish mind. Crooks' voice soothes her. Simulated? Who can say?

Mounds of information are collected. Intelligence information goes into one pile. Sexual preference data goes into another.

"Your lovers will find this information most useful." Ride said quietly.

She arched up as sensual spot cataloging procedures kicked in.

"Since you are providing me so much information" said Ride cooly "I will give you a bit of an origins story. I think you may be able to relate to it."

She of course did not answer for her mind and senses were quite occupied.

"I was married once you know. Many thought I was quite lucky to have her. She was smart, beautiful, and honest. In those days I was called Dudley_Do_RIGHT"

"But we had the misfortune to go to a party one day together, one of those couple's things. I was a well-trained hubby. Very courteous and smooth with these near strangers. Things would have been quite all right except..."

Here Ride paused and fiddled with some settings that made Bete "suffer" even more.

"Except the host and hostess owned a cat. A black devil. Eyes as green as mine. I have often thought we might somehow be reflections of each other..."

Crooks came in and went immediately to Bete. She had been trained in the apparatus and was enjoying it all very much.

But Ride was like that ancient mariner from the poem, his eyes were distant, a little spooky.

"That cat would go through the crowd of party-goeers, remember this is one of those parties where people play games like Parchesi, Pictionary, Balderdash, or Clue. They sit on the floor. Take off their shoes. Get comfortable."

"He would go through that crowd clawing and biting. Leaving tattered clothing, bloody ankles, bite marks. The people of course were horrified but trained to be so polite. The hostess simply laughed and said 'Don't mind him. He had a rough childhood. He can be quite an angel sometimes'. And she let the rampaging feline continue. After all, she was not being mauled."

Other women had snuck into the control room and were enjoying giving Bete the limit of what she could stand.

"So nobody did anything. They were not equipped. I remember that my wife dug her elbow into my ribs quite hard when I put back on my boots and enjoyed seeing that horrible beast taste leather when he tried for me again."

Ride sighed. But also smiled. Eyes both remorseful and merry at once.

"But I did something. I knew him for what he was. I rose up. I did my ritualistic crane technique intro with great ceremony knowing that my ritual would be returned by the cat in his style. I was completely correct. The little bastard was a master of deception and he did his tiger style intro in such a way that nobody but me saw him do it."

"A great fight ensued. Do not pity him. He was very well trained. He used his strengths very well to cover his weaknesses. I spent much of the early stages protecting my eyes from him. So fast, so hard to hit."

"But eventually I got the upper hand. The house was wrecked of course. But I had him dead to rights. He was a no-good, murdering son-of-a-bitch so I gave him the standard final choice. In my fluid Cantonese I offered him his life if he converted to Good. But the proud beast simply spat and uttered in equally fluid Mandarin one of the worst insults ever crafted by man or cat."

"So I administered the death blow in a very final, yet painless manner."

"Obviously this destroyed my marriage and cost me all my friends. But I of course knew the terrible creature could no longer harm mankind."

"It was shortly after this incident that I took the new name, Dudley Do RIDE and made the alliances that would guide my future path."

"So woman, you will remember well two things this day. My nature. And that a man made the machine that you obviously enjoy so much."

At which point the mountie disappeared and let the women lose themselves in each other.







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I think that what most people are failing to consider is that many "supernatural" entities disguised themselves as humans long ago, not to mention the vast number of aliens that masquerade as human while abducting and sending their captives off planet.

The cumulative effect of this is that there are now less than a dozen pure blood, or 'True' humans left in the world, and they are rumored to be very hairy with large feet...



hmmmm it is clear that an immediate DNA study should be performed to get to the root of this...

We will of course need some robotic missions to our neighboring worlds as well.

(he shifts his small feet a little to put them out of view)
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Because they weigh the same as a duck??





Monthy Python still

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(aside) see what i mean?

(to Bete) How nice of you to place yourself so fully under my control...

IMMENSE AMOUNTS OF BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH


2 TRUE THINGS

MORE BLAH BLAH BLAH BLAH




* and he bleeds.. and bleeds for all to see* Quote

*wanders aimlessly into a bedroom and sees Ride sleeping in the middle of the floor, a puddle of drool escaping is lips, delicately roping him to the floor. He body is twitching at random and he sputters nonsense out of his mouth from time to time.*

"time to waaake upppp!!!!"

*nudging him on the floor with my foot*

"heeeeyyyy, sleep time is overrrr, waaaakee upppppppppp. you have been sleeping for HOURS!"

WHOOOOSH.

*his conciousness SNAPS back to the bedroom.*

*she lets out a giggle, then runs from the room, hopping on her dragon to take her away from the place of strong winds*

*SWOOSH and she is off!*

*Ride looks around the room, slightly confused as to what just happened, and wishing greatly to fall back into his dream place*


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Soon,they will tax even the air we breathe



They tax 'em in restaurants and at the corner store
They tax 'em in places you can't light up anymore
There's tax on your gasoline, don't even need cash
Nary a human, drive off broke in a flash

Soon they'll tax breathing, make no mistake
Pile your taxes on that, don't cut us a break
There's tax on inheritance, there's tax on the dead
And if you're living, 'course, they tax that instead

Pass laws to stop 'em, but it'll never end
Legislature knows but one thing, spend, spend, spend, spend
It's got to stop somewhere, how much can we give?
Too bad lawmakers don't drive, buy, or live

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Cue tax man, by the Beatles.
*Dances around like a hippie*
Or maybe!
*A little bit more like a witch*
*Cackles and flies away on her broomstick, across the fullmoon and into the night sky* Quote

They tax 'em in restaurants and at the corner store
They tax 'em in places you can't light up anymore
There's tax on your gasoline, don't even need cash
Nary a human, drive off broke in a flash

Soon they'll tax breathing, make no mistake
Pile your taxes on that, don't cut us a break
There's tax on inheritance, there's tax on the dead
And if you're living, 'course, they tax that instead

Pass laws to stop 'em, but it'll never end
Legislature knows but one thing, spend, spend, spend, spend
It's got to stop somewhere, how much can we give?
Too bad lawmakers don't drive, buy, or live




did you wrote that?

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did you wrote that?


oui
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