dudley_do_ride: the blessing thread - 6/23/11

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Female Performer Chat: the blessing thread

Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/23/11 @ 2:22am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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You all have been very good...

So...

May you find the time to enjoy the greatest joys that life has to offer. May you have enough sense to recognize them.

May your path be strewn with wonderful friends. And may you have the sense to enjoy them.

May you find a path that is sure to leave your heart light and golden. And have the sense to follow it.

That's right... I wish you crystal-clear, blue lined sensibility.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/23/11 @ 10:11am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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May your rubber never puncture...

May your vibe never short...

May the clock stop ticking so relentlessly when you finally are in your love's arms...

May your stride be jaunty...

Your eyes full of happy mischief...

And your bed never lonely nor mute.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/24/11 @ 10:07am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Blessed are the rum drinkers for they reward themselves perfectly...

Blessed are the squirters for they bring waters to vast deserts...

Blessed are the 'show boobs' shouters for they are always happy...

Blessed are those with rifled cocks or pussies for they have advantages that are unmatched...

Blessed are those who live in warm climes for they receive tan-lined, warm, sweaty bodies...

Blessed are they that dwell at high absolute latitudes for they can get each other alone in the dark more easily...

Blessed are the lube makers for they never run out...

Blessed are the enlightened for they can escape quickly to other planes...

Blessed are the little dogs who remain unthreatened by witches for reasons obvious even to children and yea even to you...

Blessed are they who post carefully and with clean conscience for theirs is the kingdom of good guy lists.

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Created by: Corrado Lane

6/24/11 @ 12:13pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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this is really sweet hun, thank you so much

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/25/11 @ 12:05pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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this is really sweet hun, thank you so much

My pleasure sweetie .... muah!

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/25/11 @ 12:32pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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And so it was that after the famous Blessing by the Mountie they arrived in Tuba City. While on the road and about to enter the city, they were accosted by the Ancient Wanker of lore.

He stoppethed the mountie for he was the one of three.

But before he could grip the Crimson One with his strong hand and mesmerize him with the Tale, the mountie bored into his soul with his green eyed stare.

"Wanker", sayeth the mountie, "Get thee behind me. We are going to that place that shall make ye anew. And ye shall be pleased with the remaking."

"How can this be? Enlightenment is a solitary journey that only a few can make." returned the Wanker.

"Verily I say unto you... It has been revealed to me that there is a state on the road to enlightenment that we can all reach together: Sensibility! Join me Wanker. Say: what you wantaaaaaaaaah!!"

And yea the conga line grew and grew as it snaked its way through the country.

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Created by: jerkinmycock-1

6/25/11 @ 12:41pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/26/11 @ 3:30pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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As the line wound its way to the South Side, two monk toughs approached the mountie...

monk tough#1: Mountie!

Ride: What?

Line: He said "what?"

monk tough#2: Cease and desist my brothers. (showing them a pistol sized bulge under his shoulder) We need to converse with your leader here.

monk tough#1: I can see that there is no stopping this movement but what I don't see is why you are the leader of it.

Ride: I am at the head of the line. This hottie right here has a death grip on my behind. The only way you could lead is to join up in front. But since you haven't got any hottie with you that would mean that I would have to grab your ass. And there is no event, in all of creation, whose occurence has a lower probability.

And so, marveling at his unimaginably enormous sensibility, the monks joined the end of the line.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/26/11 @ 6:56pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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From a long Sunday evening interview by Mike Wallace conducted in the mountie's home...

Ride: Glad to see you again Mike. I know there are an awful lot of stories out there right now.

Wallace: None more important than this. I hope that we will have better luck this time and be able to finish the interview.

Ride: Yeah our last one did end kind of... prematurely.

Wallace: So the country is trying to get its mind around this new movement. Is it something we need to worry about?

Ride: Not at all. This is not a cult. Or even an 80s video gone terribly wrong. It is not trying to overthrow a government. It is just a popular upwelling of philosophical sentiments bathed in artistic epiphanies and staged to an irresistible beat. It was conceived and is being executed with the general public good firmly in mind.

Wallace: Your critics are saying that you don't even understand what the word means.

Ride: Emma? I love her work and wish she'd ... come and see me sometime, but just because once upon a time she played... I mean please, it is not even worth talking about.

***

Just then loud explosions made the whole house shake. This interview too never completed...

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/27/11 @ 3:33am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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It is late at night in a grungy London apartment...

A dark figure works over something... something that it considers moooooost precious.

It cackles madly as it works...

"This 'uns for you Willoughby. heh... ah heh heh haw"

In a high sing song voice: "You always say it won't rain but it always does..."

Now coldly: "I once gave you my heart... mumble mumble... and always end with a jade's trick."

"Meat? Are you deeeeeeeeranged woman? Have you ever tried to stretch six tuppence four ways? Maybe I should canoe down the Volga and get you some strawberries from Wimbeldon..."

At this it had to stop working so it could throw back its head and really laugh. So hard, so long, that it risked death a number of times, a number of ways. Yeah... deep, soul healing laugh.

"Ssssssssense and ssssssensibility... balanced at last.... Just try to stop me noooow!!"

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/28/11 @ 2:05am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Ride pressed himself back into the cushions and closed his eyes. The jet engines soothed his straining mind. He couldn't believe that he was suddenly part of a strike force that was going to take what was sure to be horrific causalties in a desperate attempt to derail an already smoothly executing plan set in motion by one formidably, clinically, certifiably evil mind.

His home was destroyed. The blood of innocents covering cherished momentos gone to shards.

But he felt no thirst for vengeance. He felt no great need for justice. Just a call down deep in his being to escape to some more rational existance.

People were just too imperfect. They scratched even as they polished. Again he sensed the futility that weighed so heavily upon Arthur, he felt foolishness more than nobility, naivety more than boldness. He thought of the elves leaving Middle Earth.

Emma... It was so unfathomable. The treachery. The insanity. He had placed her higher than even she had raised herself. Had left that bit of the universe confident... content... knowing that Ms. Sensible had it all firmly in hand... Only to get this awful... Ohhhhhh what a levee had broken. What a disaster had befallen. Not even the Fates worked this much into one tragic roll of the dice...

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Created by: grumpnose

6/28/11 @ 1:19pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: where prince charming ruined all the fun
Posts: 691

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I feel blessed for the ladies who gave me a smile and kind words whether I had credits or not. Sometimes life is lonely and a little attention goes a long way to enriching my life.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/29/11 @ 1:49am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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I feel blessed for the ladies who gave me a smile and kind words whether I had credits or not. Sometimes life is lonely and a little attention goes a long way to enriching my life.

I'll drink to that! :drinkup

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/29/11 @ 2:09am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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No woman in creation is adored as much by her fans, her vast legions of fans, as Emma Thompson. She is like no other star. Secure in her unique position in the Pantheon.

Her talent and personality have combined with her craft to create works that will be universally enjoyed for ages and ages to come. She has countless friends. Wealth. Power. Her image shines untarnished by any scandal. Her name and word are golden.

And for years, decades, she possessed an ironclad sensibility. That made her safe from all mischief in the world. She did...

Until...

A nefarious xxx purloined it one fateful day...

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Created by: lickau

6/29/11 @ 9:07am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285

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I am blessed NEVER knowing smurfette sex or blumpkin as 2 recent topics went there :helpme

I am blessed to read and see so many and thier views here . ALWAYS nice to see other peoples opinions in the forums :twocents

I am blessed with often entertainment here in stories , poems , models picture as they post on the forums , and learn new strange things I never would have thought possible :drinkup

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/29/11 @ 9:17am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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From a famous Irish ballad, always played very late in the party:

I once knew a lady with infinite sensibility.

She was master of her time.

But came a lusty sailor one fateful day...

And stole it all aaaaaaaaaaaway.

She is no longer a master of any quantity.

So young ladies fast approaching your primes...

May you never be dismayed...

Let no man steal your sensibility aaaaaaway.

For I was once most sensible of all...

Until that fateful day...

He came down the laaaaane...

And took a bit of my brain...

Now I've got nothing sensible at aaaaall.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/29/11 @ 9:23am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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I am blessed NEVER knowing smurfette sex or blumpkin as 2 recent topics went there :helpme

I am blessed to read and see so many and thier views here . ALWAYS nice to see other peoples opinions in the forums :twocents

I am blessed with often entertainment here in stories , poems , models picture as they post on the forums , and learn new strange things I never would have thought possible :drinkup

And you are a big part of our good fortune too. :bowdown

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/30/11 @ 1:57am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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No matter what the circumstances, a man has got to be properly attired...

Ride looked like he was stepping out of the Royal Opera House for a short intermission as he sauntered slowly across the wide, wide lawn of Villa d'Thompson. He had only to flash his winning smile to gain entrance from the heavily armed guards. He scanned a knowledgable eye over the surroundings as he meandered - elegant yet sensible. No sign of disorder here.

He had often wondered what type of madness would afflict Emma should she ever descend into it. And now he would find out first-hand. He was already arranging a trip to Vienna to present his findings from this historic encounter. There was much to be gained for posterity from it.

But first...

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

7/1/11 @ 9:28am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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He was let into a very impressive waiting room. Filled with all kinds of distractions artistic and intellectual. But because this was a... business call he paid them no mind.

He simply selected the most advantageous spot, moving a sofa to make it more so, and stood ready.

His eyes scanned every inch of every surface. He adjusted the curtains to make the light more conducive to observation. His nose turned this way and that as it sampled. His ears turned too and tilted.

Everything was normal, tidy, and above all else: sensible.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

7/4/11 @ 3:23pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Emma swept in and, as usual, spread her sunshine far and wide at a rate that would break all but the most modern of metronomes to match.

Emma: Dudleeeey! It is so amazing to see you! It's been... heavens! ten years! Oh we've grown here so much. Family out the ears... But you... Your masterwork: Snidely Antigone... it just took my breath... A 16 pipe organ section... 18 crashing locomotives! Zombie Olivier! It made me say: magnifique!!

Butler: We need chutney maam.

Emma: Send Cybil. Send Cybil.

Ride: B...

Emma: I've a ton of projects going too. You muuuuust hear about "Benedict's Revenge"... we got Johnny Depp! Oh when he grabs me by the shoulders and screams "You've nonnied your last you strange, intemperate beast!! Now ye shall be terminated by your terminations!!!" Everyone in the house roars...

Ride: (quietly) Very good dear. I like your shoes... How would you describe them?

Emma: (puzzled) These old things? Practical.

Ride: hmmmmm yes. What did Luke say about the good in his father, in Vadar?

Emma: (eyes widening) That he knew it was there.

Ride: Oh? And taste, touch, and smell are three of your...

Emma: (breaking down) I don't know! I can't say! Leave me alone you bastard!!!

Ride: I've got something for you...

And with a quickness that cannot be taught, Ride pulled back her head and put something small up her nose. She watched, with horrified crossed eyes, as the thing moved up her nasal canal - towards her defenseless brain. She could see it because it glowed Neon red through the covering skin.

Ride: Easy dear... It is going to make things muuuuuuuuuch better.

He then sat down next to her as she blacked out...

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