dudley_do_ride: The Thread of Ultimate Gloom and Uncompromising Despair... - 6/23/12

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The Thread of Ultimate Gloom and Uncompromising Despair...

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Female Performer Chat: The Thread of Ultimate Gloom and Uncompromising Despair...

Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/23/12 @ 1:33am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Abandon Hope all who enter here...

No light shines in this cruel existence...

All is mortal terror and horrendous defeat...

Each lonely soul shivers and mourns in its own walled prison...

The only escape... Oblivion...

Doom... Doom... Doom

Relentlessly tolling... Hear it mortals...

Doom... Doom... Doom...

It is your destruction rolling toward you across the uncaring Void of time and space...

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Created by: Brandi Williams

6/23/12 @ 1:37am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/23/12 @ 1:42am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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I'm down.

Good... good my child...

Short and filled with meaning...

The shorter the passage... the less danger of false optimism fouling it...

Let the minds that dimly make out your words through the haze make their own meaning while they fight gravity and their pain...

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/23/12 @ 2:17am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Your post to this thread will not take...

Hitting the back button will result in empty screen...

Your favorite will ban you... soon... before she grows tired of you...

Your boss will want to room with you on your next business trip...

Your mind will go shortly before you retire...

Your sweetheart will marry that jerk just before you come free...

Doom is your birthright and destruction your fate...

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Created by: Brandi Williams

6/23/12 @ 2:29am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/23/12 @ 2:30am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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You read about the Macedonians and think you are Alexander. How many kings did Alexander destroy? You are more likely one of these. You read about kings and forget about the peasants. You dream about ancient days and forget that your ancestors were serfs in the fields.

You believe that one day you will be rich and yet no one in your family, throughout its recorded history, could hire a lawyer to defend themselves when the law inevitably knocked on their doors. Each naively believed the public defender would suffice and well... you are the result of that kind of thinking.

You have broken eardrums with your horrible singing. You have given grease a bad name by that strange brand that comes from your fatty elbows. You have found new ways in countless venues to underperform.

Tepid water evokes more excitement at a party than your presence.

Your counselors have often thought they should advise you to give up, surrender, do nothing. But they are scared that you might mess that up too.

When the biologist realizes how many species have died to make way for your pathetic strut across the stage, he cannot help but to acquire 10 new mortal vices to try to cope.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/23/12 @ 3:09am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Most accurate 1st contact in film: Mars Attacks

Most true to life family on TV: The Ewings

Safest place on earth: Interior reading room of any large city's public library

Most Successful Totalitarian: Stalin

Inducer of Largest Cultural Change in History: Mao

Most militaristic society: Sparta

Most totalitarian society: Aztecs

Most dangerous year of a marriage: year 7

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Created by: carousel

6/23/12 @ 3:59am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: forgotten backroad standing still in time
Posts: 761

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roflmao

a mind is a terrible thing to waste
Most true to life family on TV: The Ewings

always knew there was a mis-cast character on 'charmed'; miss roll call do_ride?
:evil

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Created by: Jake Trenton

6/23/12 @ 6:01am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Male model on the Female Performer Chat forum.

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Created by: Brandi Williams

6/23/12 @ 6:04am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

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Male model on the Female Performer Chat forum.

:thumbsup

I heart you. you should read thru a couple posts from Mr. King Kong lol

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/23/12 @ 12:44pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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always knew there was a mis-cast character on 'charmed'; miss roll call do_ride?
:evil

I would be neglecting my duty to express my wonder at your return and the apparent cause of it....

Instead, my disciplined mind seizes upon your very name to state:

That gem in your hand is going to change color very soon... Say hi to the sandmen for me.

I see a deadly, enthusiastic robot in all your futures. You may not care about good nutrition but you will be part of a balanced diet.

You will have all that the futuristic movies of the 70s predicted except the ability to choose a hot companion from a machine in your bedroom.

The apes won't even bother to imprison you.

The pharoah had to kick your family out of Egypt not because of plagues but because they brought the entire workforce down and couldn't be rooted out in any other way.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/23/12 @ 12:55pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Male model on the Female Performer Chat forum.

As you grow older you will constantly choose the wrong gender of restroom in public places.

Your death will come as a result of busting into a room full of animals planning the destruction of humankind.

You will spend decades as a kept boy of zombie Elisabeth, dread queen of the Britons.

Your poor pecker will eventually freeze into petrified erection. This will make clothes shopping an immense chore. Until you join that new cult that advocates castration.

But before all this you will acquire a taste for lots of gaudy, gold jewelry that will make your flock of viewers unable to see you from all the glint. You will be unable to rise from a prone position from its weight.

Women will desert you. In the end it will just be lectroids and old, male senators.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/23/12 @ 1:46pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Sex itself witnesses to our isolated position in the universe. It is not a purely good thing. It is not a purely evil thing.

It has a cruel side to it that cannot be avoided. You must select someone you find attractive. And your reasons for being attracted really SUCK. They are partially encoded in your DNA - which means they are part of that horrible, bloodthirsty drive of survival. Oh and becaue the creation of your long DNA strings is also fraught with error, you have built in nonsense that you must follow. You WILL do really stupid things when you seek to satisfy your innermost longings and impulses.

Your arrogant mind at times thinks it can be master of all. It will pair you up with someone that you SHOULD love. But this is folly. You are not all mind. You don't have full control. You must obey to some degree your DNA bitch master to have any chance at long happy relationships.

If you take part in a pure sex site, you will take part in cruelty. If you mix sex with other things it will be less cruel but very confusing to your simple, simple mind/drive combination.

When someone you love departs, chasing after a complete idiot, you have to realize it is not your fault. Or that person's fault. It just is how things are. Don't expect too much, don't swear people to impossible oaths, try to just observe impartially and get a feel for the variation you see person to person. Then maybe you can choose wisely, or at least react better when it all blows up in your face.

Now go to your slow decay and eventual termination with a grin on your face because your task isn't to be perfectly good, it is to be as good as you can given the circumstances...

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/23/12 @ 2:48pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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How can I get it across to your feeble, leaky minds just how little we control things?

Imagine that there were at one time two men with very different views of reality. One man was very deep and philosophical. Who valued love, harmony, beauty but above all goodness as well as courtesy. The other was a randy bastard who loved chaos, destruction, and moider.

Well Nature, in her wisdom, has made the perpetuation of our characters, the passing on of attributes, tied soley to the ability to make babies, lots and lots of babies.

So if the deep philosophical man were, for example, foolish enough to adhere to some vow of chastity in the hopes of bettering himself and by extension all of mankind, he would leave to the randy bastard the enrichment of the gene pool. His characters would die out. His moral opposite's would flourish.

Now we grant randomness to the process. There is a chance that some offspring of the randy bastard will also be deep and philosophical. But I think you get my point. Because the deep thinker didn't grasp reality fully, his actions in fact led to what was probably the opposite of his ultimate desire. He chased what he would probably view as a chimera if he ever grasped the notion of inherited characters.

I am inclined to say more but I am very hungry and after lecturing about obeying drives I feel I must cave in and go stuff my face. This should not harm my ability to make babies.

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/23/12 @ 3:47pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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That's right I'm back... I spent the whole time I was guzzling my coke and scarfing my onion rings thinking about these matters...

I'll never forget my first private where the model squealed "Let's make babies!!!!" Of course this led to uncontrollable spending by me on her. Private after private. We are... just slaves to it all.

But money. Mankind wasn't satisfied with what Nature had decreed. Mankind added money to the game.

So yea verily, it came to pass, that women select from an ever shrinking subset of candidates based upon some level of wealth and men forgo healthy pursuits to emphasize this one aspect of their existences.

Well no more. I intend to buck the system in this regard. Sex without wealth generation is my new mantra. I figure that with enough promotion and one successful result in a general election...

Ok well another strategy is to rely upon that randomness I mentioned. Screw the drive to perpetuate your genes. Rely upon small mutations over time to reproduce your genes somewhere down the line. That randy bastard is working for you man.

So if you have figured out how to duck the need to procreate and are reasonably well off, can you deal optimally with the other aspects of life's contract with you? Here I can offer you some solace as well. Though you are hopeless, doomed to flounder through every test of life. Fate has bestowed some mercy upon you. She has placed amongst your ranks mounties. She has even made them wear bright bright crimson uniforms so that even when you are really hazed, drunk, beaten or whatever, that you will be able to identify them. Mounties, they are the chosen few who you can trust to give you sane advice. There are no false mounties. The true mounties deal with them quickly enough so that you needn't worry. Just lean back and trust the rudder of your drab existence to the mountie, the mountie in crimson, your only way to an easier path...

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Created by: carousel

6/23/12 @ 5:25pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: forgotten backroad standing still in time
Posts: 761

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do_ride, the renaissance author
can your rhetoric be taught or is it an inborn gift?

go back to Palazzo Ducale, Urbino and re-read Il Libro del Cortegiano
maybe Baldassare Castiglione can straighten you out, but more likely only the rigamortis he suffers from
:thumbsup

ponder the coincidence, mis-cast 'charmed' character and Baldassare (Belthazor)
:orglaugh

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/23/12 @ 8:11pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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ponder the coincidence, mis-cast 'charmed' character and Baldassare (Belthazor)
:orglaugh

The mounties as an order never became too courtly. Although they have transcended this world, they never tried to harness the supernatural only to engage with it in discourse.

I do not disparage these activities only point out that the mounties travel upon another path...

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/24/12 @ 3:25am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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And now as the mountie time reference strikes witchin' hour...

I bring the suffering to a close for this day...

There will be no blessing... Not in this thread...

Only a slowing down and lengthening of tone to help you slide into sleep...

sleep... sleep...

Death's sister... don't twitch... welcome sleep.... sleep...

All will keep for another day... sleep.... sleep...

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Created by: dudley_do_ride

6/24/12 @ 8:02pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: hain't Pochipsie son
Posts: 3,294

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Ya know I thought I was done here. I really did. But I made the mistake to keep my eyes about me as I went out for a walk just now.

Do you know what I saw? In broad daylight? After all we've been through in that damned war?

A sign, big as life, as plain as day.

You know what it said? What was written in half-foot letters of white painted ignorance?

I'll tell you what. You won't believe it of course. But right in the middle of a fairly nice neighborhood. In the busness district of course. Where little kids could see it.

Was...

Cat Boarding

I kid thee not. Of all the horrible things. Can you imagine it?

You can argue, and you'd be wrong of course, that water boarding isn't torture but is there anyone here with balls so big that they'll argue that cat boarding isn't torture?

Are we at war? Does anyone, any human being at all, deserve to be held down and force fed cats?

I can't believe how quiet the place is. A lot of cars out front so it must have been going on. Must have sound proof cells.

Oh man, all you'd have to do with me is show me one of those really fat, long hairs that look like Satan has a pool hall inside, and I'd tell you all the launch keys. I'd write them out for you.

I'd like to have seen Christopher Hitchens do that on air. "Ladies and Gentlemen I submit that... YOWWWWWWWWWL RAWWWWWWWWWWWRRRRRRRRRRRR FFFFFFFTTTTTTTFFFFFFFFFFTTTTTTTT WHAT'S THE DAMNED CONTROL WORD? FUCK! RICE KRISPIES! TWINKIES. YES. TWINKIES. TWINKIES."

Be ever vigilant citizens...

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Created by: .jeffie.

6/24/12 @ 8:24pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Brisbane, Australia

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