D9ITL8R: NO SPEAKAH DA ENGLISH ... - 7/16/09

Forums / Female Performer Chat

NO SPEAKAH DA ENGLISH ...

Add to List

Add Reply

Forum Topics

Online Models

Aldha

Visit My Room

Denise Johnson

Visit My Room

Annye Taylor

Visit My Room

Cloe Belle

Visit My Room

Female Performer Chat: NO SPEAKAH DA ENGLISH ...

Created by: d9itl8r

7/16/09 @ 5:54pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Practicing my Lotto 6/49 Happy Dance !
Posts: 3,143

Report Abuse

NO SPEAKAH DE ENGLISH

A bus stops and 2 men get on. They sit down and engage in an animated conversation.

The lady sitting next to them ignores them at first, but her attention is galvanized when she hears one of them say the following:

"Emma come first. Den I come. Den two asses come together. I come once-a-more! Two asses, they come together again. I come again and pee twice. Then I come one lasta time."

The lady can't take this any more, "You foul-mouthed sex obsessed pig," she retorted indignantly.

"In this country, we don't speak aloud in Public places about our sex lives.

"Hey, coola down lady," said the man.

"Who talkin'abouta sex? I'm a justa tellin' my frienda how to spell
'Mississippi '."

$5.00 says you're gonna read this again

Quote

Created by: porncock

7/16/09 @ 5:57pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

Report Abuse

I read jive. I understood. lol

Quote

Created by: Loona

7/16/09 @ 6:13pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

Report Abuse

Lol even I understood :orglaugh

Quote

Created by: Camy Angel

7/16/09 @ 6:15pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

Report Abuse

Ai didn't read et again, ai don't want 5 books, can I have a lick?

Quote

Created by: lickau

7/16/09 @ 6:28pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Moving slowly but surely somewhere sometime
Posts: 29,285

Report Abuse

i reada dis jus yonce - den nada reesin to reada agin :drinkup

Quote

Created by: dan_in_florida

7/16/09 @ 6:57pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Sunny South Florida - with a REALLY cool car :-)
Posts: 1,501

Report Abuse

I am SOOOO imagining that it's Chico Marx telling that joke to his brothers, LOL :winkwink

Quote

Created by: Kate Fox

7/16/09 @ 7:17pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

Report Abuse

ROFLMFAO!!!!

I-a red once...den laugh-a my pert-widdle ass off....

Quote

Created by: fatcakes

7/18/09 @ 12:18pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

Report Abuse

LMAO!!!!!!!!

Hey I am gonna man up and tell the truth. I read it again......lol

Quote

Created by: Kimee

7/18/09 @ 12:20pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

Report Abuse

Love it

Quote

Created by: Maria Amore

7/18/09 @ 12:27pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

Report Abuse

I have to admit I have read it 3 times.... It makes me smile lol

Quote

Created by: g-mann

7/18/09 @ 7:24pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Teddy's BBQ Place in Hello Kitty Land on Route 66
Posts: 9,786

Report Abuse

Too funny, needs to be bumped :thumbsup

Quote

Created by: amicu

7/18/09 @ 8:29pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: In the F4F Archives, Sublevel 5, aisles 71-72
Posts: 1,088

Report Abuse

While we're on the topic of Italian accents...

An Italian nonna is giving directions to her grown grandson who is bringing his wife to visit.

"You com'ma to de front door of d' apartamenta. An' Im'ma in apartamenta 301."

"There issa bigga panel at de front door. With'a you elbow, pusha button 301. I will buzza you in.

"Come inside. The elevator is on'a right. Get in, an' with'a you elbow, pusha 3. When you get out, Im'ma on de left. With'a you elbow, you hitta ma doorbell."

"Grandma, that sounds easy enough," says the grandson. "But why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?"

"Whatta?? . . . . You com'ma empty-handed??!!!"

Quote

Created by: d9itl8r

7/19/09 @ 6:12am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Practicing my Lotto 6/49 Happy Dance !
Posts: 3,143

Report Abuse

While we're on the topic of Italian accents...

An Italian nonna is giving directions to her grown grandson who is bringing his wife to visit.
"You com'ma to de front door of d' apartamenta. An' Im'ma in apartamenta 301."
"There issa bigga panel at de front door. With'a you elbow, pusha button 301. I will buzza you in.
"Come inside. The elevator is on'a right. Get in, an' with'a you elbow, pusha 3. When you get out, Im'ma on de left. With'a you elbow, you hitta ma doorbell."
"Grandma, that sounds easy enough," says the grandson. "But why am I hitting all these buttons with my elbow?"
"Whatta?? . . . . You com'ma empty-handed??!!!"

That`s a funny one amicu :orglaugh

Quote

Created by: gallodelcielo

7/19/09 @ 6:17am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Posts: 1,477

Report Abuse

hehehe great

YES WE CAN !

Quote

Created by: ozzieboy4u

7/21/09 @ 6:27am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Under Saphira's Bed with the wand
Posts: 3,075

Report Abuse

hahahaha
Good post so funny

Quote

Created by: Carla Lopez

7/21/09 @ 10:10am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

Report Abuse

Hilarious! And I read it more than once because it made me laugh so hard the first time!!

Quote

Created by: g-mann

7/31/09 @ 3:58am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Teddy's BBQ Place in Hello Kitty Land on Route 66
Posts: 9,786

Report Abuse

If you missed this, here it is :thumbsup

Quote

Created by: fireplug

7/31/09 @ 6:02pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Arizona
Posts: 82

Report Abuse

Sign in my barber's shop 60 years ago -

"Seville der dago tousan busses inarow
No joe demistrux summit cowsin summit dux."

See Willie der dey go, thousand busses in a row.
No Joe, them is trucks, some with cows in, some with ducks

Quote

Created by: loungelizard

8/1/09 @ 3:09am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

Report Abuse

Every morning Luigi was on the same street corner in town with his cart, selling fresh fruits and vegetables.

All the neighborhood ladies would line up to get whatever they needed from his supply of his freshly picked goods.

The first customer of the day stepped up and said, "I need some fresh strawberries," to which Luigi sadly replied, "Ima sorry...we no hava strawberries today." Come a back a tomorrow, and I have a you strawberries."

The lady walked away and others stepped up in the line got their produce.

Soon however, the same lady was back at the front of the line once more, where she asked Luigi, "Can I get some fresh strawberries?"

Luigi scratched his head, and replied, "Excusa lady, but didn't you aska me before for some a strawvberries? I must a tella you, I'm a sorry, but we have a NO strawberries today. You come a back a tomorrow, and Ima have a you strawberries."

So, again the lady walked away.

But a little while later the same lady was back at the front of the line once more and asked, "Excuse me, Luigi, but I need some strawberries today."

Luigi could not believe this lady was back asking for the same thing once again, but since the customer is always right, he decided on a different approach.

"Look a lady," he said. "If a you take a the blue out of a blue berries, whatta do you got?"

and she replied, "berries?"

"That's a right," said Luigi. "And if a you take a the rasp out of a raspberries, whatta do you got?"

Once more she replies, "berries?"

"That's a right," he answered. "And if a you take a the fuck out of strawberries, whatta do you got?"

Puzzled, the lady looked at him, and said, "There ain't no fuck in strawberries."

>>>
>>
>

"Thats a right," said Luigi, "THERE AIN'T NO FUCKIN STRAWBERRIES!"

Quote

Created by: suggs

8/1/09 @ 3:28am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Left of centre
Posts: 6,768

Report Abuse

Luigi & Virginia's Honeymoon

After returning from his honeymoon in Florida with his new
bride, Virginia, Luigi stopped in his New York neighborhood
barbershop to say hello to his friends.
Giovanni said, "Hey, Luigi. How was'a da treep?"
Luigi said, "Ever'thing was'a perfect except for da train'a
ride down."
"What'a you mean, Luigi?" asked Giovanni.
"Well, we board'a da train at Grand Central'a Station. My
beautiful'a Virginia had packed a big'a basket a food with
vino and cigars for'a me, and'a we were looking 'aforward to
da trip. All was OK until we got'a hungry and opened up'a da
lunch'a basket.
"The conductor came by, wagged his'a finger at us and'a say,
'No eat in dese'a car. Must'a use'a dining car.'
"So, me and my beautiful'a Virginia, we go to dining car, eat
a big'a lunch and begin to open'a bottle of vino. Conductor
come again, wag his'a finger and say, 'No drink'a in dese'a
car. Must'a use'a club'a car.'
"So we go to club'a car. While'a drinking vino, I start to
light'a my big'a cigar. The conductor, he wag'a his finger
again and say, 'No smoke'a in dese'a car. Must'a go to smoker
car.'
"We go to smoker car and I smoke'a my cigar. Later, my
beautiful Virginia and I, we go to sleeper car and'a go to bed.
We just about to have'a sex and the conductor, he come'a
through car yelling, 'NO-FOLK'A, VIRGINIA!'"

Quote

Online Models

Aldha

Visit My Room

Denise Johnson

Visit My Room

Annye Taylor

Visit My Room

Cloe Belle

Visit My Room

I'M OVER 18

Cam Girls

Gay Cams

Trans Cams

Amount:This is the tool tip for the Amount	(Be sure to send this exact amount)	Click to Copy the Address
Address:This is the tool tip for the Address		Click to Copy the Address

Forums / Female Performer Chat

NO SPEAKAH DA ENGLISH ...

Add to List

Current Default Price:

50 Credits

Model Messages

Your Screen Name:

Notification Settings

Inbox

Sasha Elite

Recommended

Sasha Elite

All Models

Sasha Elite

Sasha Elite

Recommended

Sasha Elite

Suggested Usernames:

:

Amount:
Exchange Rate:
BTC Amount:
Network Cost:
Total to Send:

Member Login

Not a member?

New User Tutorial Video

Forums / Female Performer Chat

NO SPEAKAH DA ENGLISH ...

Add to List

Current Default Price:

50 Credits

Model Messages

Your Screen Name:

Notification Settings

Inbox

Sasha Elite

Recommended

Sasha Elite

All Models

Sasha Elite

Sasha Elite

Recommended

Sasha Elite

Search For Customer

Set Custom Pricing For Specific Customers

Photo Preview

Set Price

Add Description

Collection Preview

Set Price

Add Description

Video Preview

Set Price

Add Description

Select Reason

I'M OVER 18

Need help? Report an Issue

Technical & Other Issues:

Drag and drop an image, or Browse images

Success

Suggested Usernames:

: