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Forums / Female Performer Chat

Funny Embarassing Stories!
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Female Performer Chat: Funny Embarassing Stories!
Brianna Banks
Created by: Brianna Banks

4/13/10 @ 2:33am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

*STORYTIME* :guitar

As some of you already know, I have quite a few funny embarassing stories of my own! I'm curious to know some of yours, let's see who's got the worst! :orglaugh :orglaugh
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Marilyn Martini
Created by: Marilyn Martini

4/13/10 @ 1:57pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

Last year I was at the gym on the tredmill and there was an extremely fine specimen of a man running on the tredmill in front of me... mmm his booty was soooo DELISH!!! A face carved by angels with the devil's body!! :hitit :hitit :jerkoff :jerkoff
If he were a true gentleman, he would've kindly stepped off the tredmill and removed himself from my view so that I could finish my workout in peace... so yes, I blame him for what happens next! :winkwink
Well I had just noticed that my shoe was untied and decided to stop the tredmill so I could tie it... I thought I'd take a quick gander at his tight booty before I pressed stop.. ya bad idea.. As soon as I took my eyes off of my shoe I tripped over my laces and completely face planted on the conveyor belt while it was still running!!!! :( :orglaugh :mad
And the tredmill I was backed up to the wall, so it threw me off and pinned me between the conveyor belt (which was burning the skin off of my hands and chin at this point ) and the wall.. and some other hot guy had to jump off his tredmill and save the chick who just made an ass of herself.. And of course EVERYONE in the gym stopped what they were doing and stared at me like I had lobsters crawling out my ears!! I was soooo mortified!!!! :( :( I was like "What?? That's how I always get off the tredmill..." :guitar :orglaugh :orglaugh :orglaugh
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derfrocks5
Created by: derfrocks5

4/13/10 @ 2:49pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: On the Dark Side of the Moon
Posts: 532

a few yrs ago, I hung out with a lady that I work with's daughter, we tried to find a random quiet place to talk so I ended up driving to a park in my township. It happened to be closed for the night at the time. As we were just about to, well, heat things up a bit, a cop pulls up, lights shining. Luckily her and I were still fully dressed. The cop asked us for ID's and he looks at hers and says, I know your father (her dad collects trash for my township) aparently there are some decent cops out there because from what I gather, he never said anything to her dad about finding us, and the hooking up continued randomly, she now has a boyfriend, so the hooking up has stopped, but we're still friends. I work with her mom and in her eyes I'm an angel :evil

Another story: few yrs ago, I had finally decided to meet a girl I'd been talking to on the net. As we were talking, I somehow worked my way down to put my face between her legs. As she was close to cumming, my stepdad walks in the house, we both see him, but he doesnt see us. Wouldn't ya know, the girl I was orally pleasuring, her mom knew my mom in high school. And incase you're wondering guys...you better believe I made her cum :evil
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BIGRUFF67
Created by: bigruff67

4/13/10 @ 10:06pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Toronto during summer, Atlanta during the winter
Posts: 65

when i was in the 2nd grade, i had these tearaway pants that i would wear every day. well my mum would stitch my undies to my pants (maybe i kept losing my underwear i cant remember) and we were playing basketball in the gym. i wanted to impress everyone and i was one of the best there at the game, about 30 minutes into the period, i stole the ball from someone, ran down the court, scored a basket and landed, feeling the coldest breeze i've ever felt. yes, that's right, i look behind me and my tearaways are laying there, with the underpants attached. i was so red, but i started getting winks from the other girls in the class :).... and the teachers. :helpme

ps. derf where the fuck have ya been? i miss you :( lol
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derfrocks5
Created by: derfrocks5

4/13/10 @ 10:28pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: On the Dark Side of the Moon
Posts: 532

when i was in the 2nd grade, i had these tearaway pants that i would wear every day. well my mum would stitch my undies to my pants (maybe i kept losing my underwear i cant remember) and we were playing basketball in the gym. i wanted to impress everyone and i was one of the best there at the game, about 30 minutes into the period, i stole the ball from someone, ran down the court, scored a basket and landed, feeling the coldest breeze i've ever felt. yes, that's right, i look behind me and my tearaways are laying there, with the underpants attached. i was so red, but i started getting winks from the other girls in the class :).... and the teachers. :helpme

ps. derf where the fuck have ya been? i miss you :( lol



I'm here, don't cry ya big baby, man up! hahaha
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Brianna Banks
Created by: Brianna Banks

4/13/10 @ 11:16pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

Great stories so far..

Okay so when I met my ex all we ever did was go out to eat, here there & everywhere (only thing we had in common :orglaugh ) Well, of course he'd brag about how his mother did this and that and how she was the most amazing cook :evil Of course with time I was forced to meet her and obviously wanted to brush up on my cooking skills! I started cooking more at the house and trying new things, I became (what I thought) pretty knowledgable in that department....haha. So, one day we were invited to his parents house for dinner and she made the most delicious and juicy prime rib one can make, along with loaded baked potatoes & fresh green beans. While eating we're all talking and im telling her how unbelievable the loaded BAKED potatoe is...she asked me if I knew how to make one.

Silly me replied and said "Yes, I believe so but how long do you boil it for?" :orglaugh :orglaugh :orglaugh
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BlkMamba24
Created by: blkmamba24

4/14/10 @ 3:12am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: ...behind you
Posts: 1

My first: I was at a high school dance and this girl comes up and asks me to dance so I say yes. This was the conversation. Me: "So do you go to school here?" Her: "No this is an all boy's school" Me: "Right.....(silence until song end)"

My second: This girl I was like in love with when I was young used to live not too far from my house and I was cool with her brother so they were over at the house all the time. Well, when I was a kid I used to love to sing some "not so manly" songs. Well one time while I was singing for some reason I decided I'd record it with my Talkboy. My brother was a big snoop always coming into my room trying to find things to take for himself and without me realizing one day he must've found my talkboy in my room. Well, the next time that the girl and her brother were at the house, I all of a sudden hear myself singing and it's my brother with my talkboy. They all had a good laugh at my expense.
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Taylah Aussie
Created by: Taylah Aussie

4/14/10 @ 5:09am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

Well this one happened to me a few months ago i was planning a shopping list and said to my housmate dont let me forget tampons
not realising my 8 year old son was in ear shot, so after that we went to the supermarket and had finally finished(u need lots of food for
3 children and 2 adults) then when we were at the checkout i gave the list to my 8 year old for reading practice and said so mate did i forget
anything (note tampons were not on the list) and my son looks me in the face at the top of his voice goes yes mum u forgot ur tampons there
not on the list you had better go back and get ur tampons i was so embarrased as everyone heard and due to the fact that all the adults started
laughing my other son who is 5 started chanting tampons tampons tampons. This was for me the worst moment ever as i am one of those types
of ppl that is extremely shy when it comes to topics like this lmao
so yes there u go u all now know i get embarrassed talking about womens business lol
taylah
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Carla Lopez
Created by: Carla Lopez

4/14/10 @ 11:05am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

So there is this song out called "BedRock," and one of the lyrics is "my room is the g-spot, I can make your bed rock, " Well, while in Miami, when listening to the radio, there is a lot of things that do not get censored, and that lyric was one of them, however, in concervative central FL. EVERYTHING is censored. When I took my niece to Disney World a few weeks ago, the song came on the radio and the censored g-spot. She goes "How come the bleeped out g-spot?" After nearly losing control of the vehicle from being in shock that she had just asked me that, I responded "because it is not appropiate for the radio." She was like "I don't understand, there are A spots, C spots, etc, what is so wrong with a g-spot." With no other way of explaining it to her I simply replied "there is absolutely nothing wrong with a g-spot dear." OMG, these kids need to come with freaking manuals.
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derfrocks5
Created by: derfrocks5

4/14/10 @ 11:13am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: On the Dark Side of the Moon
Posts: 532

So there is this song out called "BedRock," and one of the lyrics is "my room is the g-spot, I can make your bed rock, " Well, while in Miami, when listening to the radio, there is a lot of things that do not get censored, and that lyric was one of them, however, in concervative central FL. EVERYTHING is censored. When I took my niece to Disney World a few weeks ago, the song came on the radio and the censored g-spot. She goes "How come the bleeped out g-spot?" After nearly losing control of the vehicle from being in shock that she had just asked me that, I responded "because it is not appropiate for the radio." She was like "I don't understand, there are A spots, C spots, etc, what is so wrong with a g-spot." With no other way of explaining it to her I simply replied "there is absolutely nothing wrong with a g-spot dear." OMG, these kids need to come with freaking manuals.



:offtopic off topic here guys, I apologise Bryana. But Carla, where have u been beautiful?
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runaroundsue
Created by: runaroundsue

4/14/10 @ 11:17am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Posts: 17

I used to get my haircut at the salon that my sister worked at. This one time, she shampooed my hair with "Mint Shampoo". It gives a strong-tingly-hot-n-cold sensation to your scalp. Anyone who uses it, knows the sensation and it actually feels good, once the initial shock of it wears off. So I buy a bottle from her. After using it in the shower a few times, I thought this one time, "I'll wash my cock and balls with this stuff." BIG MISTAKE! Just a few seconds after lathering up my cock, the mint took over and my head was on fire or something. What ever the hell that feeling was... Holy shit!! There wasn't enough water in the shower to cool it off. That tingly sensation that happens on your head does not happen the same way on the other head. WOW WOW WOW!! I don't know how long it took for my cock to kind of feel normal again. My next haircut, I don't care if there's a few ladies around, I relay my experience to my sister. She ended up half sitting, half laying in the high chair, laughing so hard, so much, probably peeing herself, with the all the ladies looking at us, as if to say... "Whats so funny, you're the only guy in here?"
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Carla Lopez
Created by: Carla Lopez

4/14/10 @ 11:23am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00




:offtopic off topic here guys, I apologise Bryana. But Carla, where have u been beautiful?


I have been very busy with school. I have begin my internship, which involves me working with actual patients and it is beyond demanding. As of right now, I am surviving on my student loans, credit cards, and I am doing bottle service at a club down here. I wish I had more time in myday so that I can get on here and talk to all of you because I miss you all dearly. However, the summer is quickly approaching so perhaps I will have more time on m hands....

back on top...Brianna, please tell me how those boiled loaded baked potatoes came out.,,way to cute...I had tears forming in my eyes from laughing so hard, Why is it that we as women never seem to fail in making ourselves look like complete scatter brains when we first meet our bf's mother. I always get along so well with their fathers though,,,,
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derfrocks5
Created by: derfrocks5

4/14/10 @ 11:28am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: On the Dark Side of the Moon
Posts: 532



I have been very busy with school. I have begin my internship, which involves me working with actual patients and it is beyond demanding. As of right now, I am surviving on my student loans, credit cards, and I am doing bottle service at a club down here. I wish I had more time in myday so that I can get on here and talk to all of you because I miss you all dearly. However, the summer is quickly approaching so perhaps I will have more time on m hands....

back on top...Brianna, please tell me how those boiled twice baked potatoes came out.,,way to cute...I had tears forming in my eyes from laughing so hard, Why is it that we as women never seem to fail in making ourselves look like complete scatter brains when we first meet our bf's mother. I always get along so well with their fathers though,,,,



aww, hang in there, good to hear from you
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Created by: dan_in_florida

4/14/10 @ 10:07pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Sunny South Florida - with a REALLY cool car :-)
Posts: 1,501

while in Miami, when listening to the radio, there is a lot of things that do not get censored, and that lyric was one of them, however, in concervative central FL. EVERYTHING is censored.


I so hear ya Carla Dear! I'm heading up to "Mouseville" this weekend for a big exotic car show at Celebration in the Kissimmee area and once I get north of Boca Raton, the radio just goes off and the CDs go into play the rest of the way, LOL. :helpme
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