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Forums / Male Performer Chat

The Last Thing You Want To Hear During Sex...
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Male Performer Chat: The Last Thing You Want To Hear During Sex...
Created by: forgottenclone

3/20/13 @ 10:02pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult
Posts: 799

I thought YOU brought the condoms!

Nawwww, I never use lube, it ain't natural.

Don't look at the sheets.

Relax, It's not contagious, just remember to put lotion on it later.

Don't worry, my ex had that same problem.

What..The..Fuck..is..THAT?

I probably should have told you sooner....

I know this looks bad, but I can explain...

Can't explain now, just get dressed!

Who's you Daddy NOW?

Now I know for sure. I'm most def straight.

That was great! I'm so glad I skipped Boy Scouts for this!

HAIL SATAN!

So this means we are a couple now, right?

My brother makes the same face when he cums in my mouth.

Can't stay the night, I got an early appt. tomorrow with my parole officer.

Does my jock smell like chloroform to you?

I last a lot longer when I'm with someone I'm not really attracted to.

Wanna have some real fun? My surgery kit is right under the bed.

Yeah I'm happy to see you, but that's actually my 44 revolver you are stroking in my pants.

Mind if my wife watches?

Any name but your own.

(ok, done for now. Any more takers? Bring it on!) :)
Quote
Sam Wonder
Created by: Sam Wonder

3/20/13 @ 10:18pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

One time in bed with the lights off... As this guy starting penetrating me, I asked him "Is that your finger?"

Ouch


Quote
deafTN
Created by: deaftn

3/20/13 @ 11:51pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: out of this world
Posts: 653

when youre finished your partner says would you reach in the top drawer and hand me my dildo please. i need pleasure too
Quote
Phil247
Created by: phil247

3/21/13 @ 12:40am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Pass
Posts: 23

I don't swallow
Oh yeah man oOOOOhhhhh fuck yeah yeah fuckkkkkkkk fuck yeah man
Hi honey I'm home
I'm actually Canadian
I didn't tell you but I'm an escort
I just stood on your ipad
We'er now closing
Quote
Sam Wonder
Created by: Sam Wonder

3/21/13 @ 12:57am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

I don't swallow
Oh yeah man oOOOOhhhhh fuck yeah yeah fuckkkkkkkk fuck yeah man
Hi honey I'm home
I'm actually Canadian
I didn't tell you but I'm an escort
I just stood on your ipad
We'er now closing




HEY ! What do you have against Canadians ? hahaha
Quote
Phil247
Created by: phil247

3/21/13 @ 1:16am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Pass
Posts: 23


HEY ! What do you have against Canadians ? hahaha


Q: What is the difference between a Canadian and a Scotchman?
A: The Scotchman tips

Quote
chinmusic
Created by: chinmusic

3/21/13 @ 1:23am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: 19,627
Posts: 21,154

Mission control. Paging Phil. Come home ASAP.

(see Phil's location)
Quote
Phil247
Created by: phil247

3/21/13 @ 1:27am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Pass
Posts: 23

Mission control. Paging Phil. Come home ASAP.

(see Phil's location)


YES I agree! That's absolutely the last thing anyone having sex with me would want to hear!
Quote
chinmusic
Created by: chinmusic

3/21/13 @ 1:35am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: 19,627
Posts: 21,154




HEY ! What do you have against Canadians ? hahaha



How could anyone have anything against us. We're just so nice. :orglaugh :orglaugh
Quote
Sam Wonder
Created by: Sam Wonder

3/21/13 @ 2:20am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00



Q: What is the difference between a Canadian and a Scotchman?
A: The Scotchman tips





By the way, I tip very nicely.
Quote
Created by: forgottenclone

3/21/13 @ 5:07am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult
Posts: 799

Sheriff' Dept- We have a warrant.
Do you smell smoke?
You fuck a lot faster and better than my dog.
::glancing at the window:: Ummm are your neighbors Asian?
Sorry, must have been all that Mexican food I ate today.
What's wrong? It's always that greenish-yellow color.
You like? I learned that trick in prison.
Of course I'm not videotaping you, the red light always stays on.
Shhhhhhh, we gotta keep it down, my roommate is out of his anti-psychotic meds.
Did you cum?
Quote
Created by: phil_usa

3/21/13 @ 9:47am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Driving Down Thunder Road
Posts: 4,747




...Is it in yet? :orglaugh
Quote
Luk A
Created by: Luk A

3/21/13 @ 12:20pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

"I'm pregnant"

and after it...

"it's yours"
Quote
Justin Martily
Created by: Justin Martily

3/21/13 @ 2:47pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

One time in bed with the lights off... As this guy starting penetrating me, I asked him "Is that your finger?"

Ouch



Ouch! What was his response? haha


Quote
Created by: louisphillippe

3/21/13 @ 3:15pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Momentarely in this galaxy while the mother ship r
Posts: 1,234

"I'm pregnant"

and after it...

"it's yours"



:( :( Then..????..... The twins aren't mine like you said??? :mad
:angel I'm not sending you anymore support and alimony checks..!!!! :evil

:orglaugh ............... :twocents
Quote
William Haley
Created by: William Haley

3/21/13 @ 4:07pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

I don't swallow
Oh yeah man oOOOOhhhhh fuck yeah yeah fuckkkkkkkk fuck yeah man
Hi honey I'm home
I'm actually Canadian
I didn't tell you but I'm an escort
I just stood on your ipad
We'er now closing




HAAHHAHAHA lol

Quote
Sam Wonder
Created by: Sam Wonder

3/21/13 @ 5:14pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00



Ouch! What was his response? haha





He was like "Umm no." And he got really offended... Oh well. lol

Funny story though


Quote
Luk A
Created by: Luk A

3/22/13 @ 4:37am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00




:( :( Then..????..... The twins aren't mine like you said??? :mad
:angel I'm not sending you anymore support and alimony checks..!!!! :evil

:orglaugh ............... :twocents



You are not pregnant..that's just your big belly :))
Quote
Created by: forgottenclone

3/22/13 @ 5:28am (EDT) | UTC - 4:00
Location: Cleverly disguised as a responsible adult
Posts: 799

If I get a guy pregnant I'm calling CNN news. :orglaugh :orglaugh :orglaugh
Quote
Luk A
Created by: Luk A

3/22/13 @ 1:33pm (EDT) | UTC - 4:00

If I get a guy pregnant I'm calling CNN news. :orglaugh :orglaugh :orglaugh



Are u calling me fat? LOL LOL
Quote
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